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I was looking forward to teasing him about the dichotomy.
“No, but that’s typical with Shorty Easter. He finds you, not the other way around.”
Jess motioned to the coffee machine. “Want some?”
“That’d be great.” And of course, I fought back a yawn at that moment. “This is your new place with Trace?”
She was grabbing the coffee, and a soft smile came over her face. “It’s not far from my mom’s house, so she’s close if anything happens.”
“It’s nice. It’s . . . adulting.”
Jess glanced back, a short laugh escaping her. “What?”
“It’s adulting. You and Trace. You’re doing it, despite, you know.”
Some of her smile faded. “Yeah.”
“Um. Hey.” Shit. I was an asshole friend. “I know I reached out when it first happened, but—”
“That’s not on you.”
“What?”
She finished the coffee machine and hit the switch, then turned to rest her back against the counter beside it. “That’s not on you. I know what you were going to say, but you did reach out when it happened. You were there when Trace and I were going through our thing, and you tried being there for me after Kelly’s body was found. I—I wouldn’t let anyone by me, except my mom and Trace. That was it. I kinda went insane after I found out.” Her voice shook. “I—it was my fault and—”
“Hey.” I shoved off the stool, and closed the space between us.
Everyone thought Jess was this tough parole officer, and to be honest, she was. No one wanted to mess with her, but she was—well, she wasn’t really soft inside, but what she was was an amazing friend, and she had an amazing heart. I went to her, ignoring how she started to put her arms up. I wrapped mine around her in a hug. “It wasn’t your fault. I don’t care what you’re going to say. I don’t care about what you do for a living, who you fell in love with, anything else you might say. The person responsible for Kelly’s death is the person who killed her. Period. You do not blame yourself. You hear me?”
She was stiff, at first, and then she let out a shuddering sigh and leaned into me. She didn’t put her arms around me. Jess wasn’t that kind of friend, not really, but it said a lot that she stood and let me hug her. So I had to hug her with everything I had in me. I was pretending Pialto and Sophie were here helping me hug her.
They gave the best hugs. We always did them three ways too.
I heard her sniffle, so I kept on squeezing until it was long after the coffee was done.
“Thanks, Molly.” Jess stepped back, wiping a hand at her eye before she showed me where the coffee mugs were.
I nudged her aside, taking over from there. Selecting a mug, I asked her, “You want some?”
She nodded, blinking a little and wiping her face as she went to sit on the stool I’d left. “Thank you.”
I poured both of our cups and went looking for some cream in their amazing fridge. “I was going to say earlier that I’m sorry I haven’t checked in lately. I guessed you’d like some space, but I meant to reach out, but then . . .”
Jess’s grin was knowing as I brought her coffee over and slid onto the stool next to her. “Then a guy tried to rob your place and you went a little insane?”
“Who wears green makeup to rob a bowling alley?”
“I’d like to think that if you’re planning to rob a bowling alley, the only makeup I’d want to wear is green makeup.”
I shot her a grin. “Maybe I almost shot him too fast. I should’ve asked his thoughts on what makeup to wear when robbing a costume shop?”
“That’d be hard. I wish you had asked him. I don’t know if I’ll be able to asleep tonight not knowing what color he would’ve worn.”
It felt nice to be joking with Jess again.
I swallowed over a lump in my throat. “Maria, Dex, and Jimmy come every Sunday night still.”
The coffee cup went down so fast and almost forcefully that I hesitated, thinking I’d pissed her off, but her head folded over, and I heard the sob.
She’d dropped the mug. She hadn’t put it down.
“Oh.” I moved in, putting my arm under hers, and I stood from the stool, pulling Jess into me again. This time, she leaned her entire weight into me. Her hand was covering her mouth, and she seemed to collapse. She was crying so hard.
One of her hands lifted, gripping onto my shirt.
Her whole body shuddered.
I was half cradling her head, my arms up in an awkward hold, but it was me. It felt like the most natural way to comfort a friend. It was a bit before she quieted.
