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He’s yours for the duration.
That will have to be enough.
But what if it wasn’t?
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
GIDEON INSISTED ON DESSERT, if only to keep things going for a little bit longer. Lucy must have felt the same way because she didn’t hesitate before she picked a particularly delicious-sounding apple cobbler to his cheesecake. The waiter—who was getting a significant tip since he’d made himself scarce in between checking on them—took their order and hurried off. The restaurant had filled up, though the only evidence of it they had was a low murmur of conversation by people they couldn’t see.
He curled a strand of Lucy’s hair around his finger. “You said we needed to talk.”
“Don’t we?”
He’d always liked Lucy’s directness. Even when she was highly uncomfortable with the subject—like sex—she still made an effort to cut through the bullshit and be as honest as possible. Now he almost wished that she was willing to let the slow slide of afternoon into evening go on without following through on her words this morning. Gideon should have known better. “Yeah, we do.”
She met his gaze directly, never one to shy away from a potential confrontation. “Shall I go first or shall you?”
Though he was tempted to let her take the lead, that was the coward’s way out. Gideon knew what he wanted and the only way to give him a snowball’s chance in hell was to go for it without reservation. So he let go of her hair and sat back. “Pick me.”
She blinked and then blinked again. “I’m sorry?”
“Screw the others guys and screw the list I put together. They won’t make you happy like I can, and you know it. I know you as well as anyone, and we match up in the bedroom and out of it. Pick me.” I love you. I’ve always loved you. He didn’t say it. He’d already pressed his luck by putting his cards on the table. If he threw that at her, she’d be gone before he finished the sentence.
She leaned forward and then shook her head. “What are you saying?”
“You know what I’m saying. I want you. You want me. We fit, Lucy. You can’t deny that it’s true.” He held himself still in an effort to keep from reaching for her. Crowding her now was a mistake and using sex to cloud her judgment was a dick move. Not one that he was above, but if he wanted a chance—a real chance—with her, he had to do this right.
As right as he could do it when they’d started this thing with her dating another guy and then restarted it by bargaining for sex lessons in addition to her attempting to marry another man.
When you put it like that...
Lucy put her hand to her mouth and dropped it as quickly. “I don’t know what to say.”
Hell, he really had overplayed it. He didn’t retreat farther physically, though he wanted to. Instead, Gideon gave her an easy smile. “It’s fine. We’re fine.”
“No, I don’t think we are.” She rubbed her hands over her face and looked at him, her blue eyes so bleak, it broke his fucking heart. “Gideon, even with all the crap in our history and the two-year separation, you’re one of the closest friends I have. I care about you. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost our friendship again and...” Her hands fluttered between them. “We have irreconcilable differences.”
“What are you talking about?” He reined in his reaction until she could tell him exactly what the hell she meant by that. I was never on that goddamn list.
“When’s the last time you dated someone for longer than a few weeks?”
He froze. “That’s the measuring stick you’re going to use against me? Fine, Lucy. I haven’t dated anyone for longer than a few weeks. I’ve been focusing on my career, and before that, it was school.” He shook his head, frustration reaching a boiling point. “It’s pretty rich that you expect me to roll with your limited dating history, but mine is the reason you won’t consider me.”
“That’s not what I meant.” She tucked her hair behind her ear. “Okay, it’s a little what I meant, but the core concept is still the same. What happens when I throw all my other options out the window and say yes to you? Are you planning on marrying me? Because that’s still the endgame, and rather quickly. Even if you are willing to take that step, what happens in a few weeks, months, however long, when you get bored—or, heaven forbid, you meet someone who you might actually love?” Lucy slumped in the booth. “No, it’s not worth the risk. You’d realize that if you took emotion out of your reaction.”
That was the problem—Gideon couldn’t take emotion out of the equation when it came to Lucy. He’d never been able to. “I wouldn’t do that to you.”
