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I pressed my lips together, eager to hear more.
“Cherish him,” she said. “That boy doesn’t know how to take care of himself. He runs around as if he’s invincible and tries too hard to please everyone to the point that he’s forgotten whatheneeds. Do you know what his dream is?”
“No, actually, I don’t.” I shook my head, avoiding her gaze as I tried to comprehend the reason behind the sudden tightening in my chest. Could it be because I was disappointed that I didn’t know Gray as well as I wanted to? Or could it be because I’d always known and buried everything I knew about him until I started believing they were never there in the first place?
“For your dreams to come true,” Dr. Loya said. “He wants to watch you become the kind of doctor you’ve always wanted to be.Youare his dream, dear.”
I’m doomed.
* * *
Four days passed,and still no sign of Gray. While he was gone, I sewed an orange, blue, and black plaid flannel scarf for him.
I studied and took care of the little ball of fur. I fed Howli his little kibble, played with him, bathed him, brushed him, slept with him, and tolerated his soft mewls during the night. It seemed like Howli missed Gray just as much as I missed him. The dog couldn’t even speak English, but I could tell Gray’s absence was affecting him too.
Gray was nowhere to be found, and I had no idea whether or not he had a plan to come back to us. At this point, he would struggle to graduate.
Then Valentine’s Day came along.
After complaining about having to live with a dog, Mom went out on a date with her boyfriend, an older man who had grown children and a goatee.
Meanwhile, I had no date.
Howli watched as I put on my joggers, a pair of hiking shoes, and a yellow hoodie over my sweater. I carried a small transparent backpack with a bottle of water, a box of jajangmyeon, and Gray’s multi-colored scarf inside.
I opened the front door, but not before debating whether or not Howli needed to be leashed if we were to go hiking.
Luckily, he had a mind of his own. He stepped out ahead of me, his tiny footsteps a beautiful melody in my ears.
As soon as I locked the door behind us, Howli and I went straight into the restricted forest and up the hills with the fear of ‘hiking death’ hurled in the back of our skulls. If it had been dark and cold, neither of us would have survived the epic hike to Skyhigh Falls. On the other hand, if my instincts were right and Gray was indeed moping in his little paradise, then I would find him in no time.
Before Howli and I could reach the top, I received a call from Cole.
“What is it?” I asked as soon as I picked up, stopping to rest my back against an orange tree.
“Are you out looking for Gray?” he asked. “You’re not home, and I’m worried sick here standing outside your house. Aera, he specifically said not to look for him. He needs time to … meditate.”
“Dear me. Is he Buddha now? Besides, I’m just hiking with Howli. What’s wrong with spending more quality time with my dog?” I scoffed. “I’m hanging up, bye.” I ended the call and continued my journey to Skyhigh Falls.
There were no roads or buildings, but there were tall trees, rocks larger than five people put together, and a dirt path. I remembered Gray had parked his stolen motorbike nearby. I was headed in the right direction.
It was a long, vigorous walk. The hills were more demanding, and the rocks were harder to scramble over to without Gray by my side.
My legs were dying, but I persevered.
When I noticed Howli could barely catch his breath four hours later, I made him drink water from my water bottle and carried him until I couldn’t feel my arms anymore. We took a short break, napped for a few minutes, and ate some biscuits for a snack.
As soon as Howli and I got back on our feet and started climbing the steep hills, I felt that same heart-pulling sensation again, but only briefly, then it was gone. Either I had a twisted muscle in my chest and needed an ambulance, or I was close to finding Gray. I preferred to think it was the latter.
The clouds were soon within my reach. I wiped my sweat with my hoodie and took Howli in my arms before he could wander or run off into the fog. I couldn’t trust the clouds when my dog looked like a walking cloud, only with eyes and a nose.
Soon, Howli and I reached the top of the mountain where the white and fluffy clouds engulfed everything they touched.
Unable to see through them, I planted my feet on a rock and shouted, “Gray!”
Howli barked once.
“I know you’re here!” A pause, and then I said louder: “Show yourself!”
