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One step forward and—bang!
Aera screamed.
I looked down at myself. Blood poured through the hole in my chest, and a red-tipped silver bullet clanked to the ground as I pulled it through the fabric of my shirt. My legs crumpled beneath me; my arms wouldn’t even move to break my fall. I landed face-first on the hardwood floor.
I raised my head, wanting nothing but for Aera to be the last person I saw.
We didn’t even get to dance.
It was too late.
Death had already come for me.
The Letter
A week had passedsince five innocent kids lost their lives. Four of them were young werewolf hunters, but none of them were familiar to me. Then, there was Gray.
I could still remember his body falling in front of me and my mom walking away without an ounce of sympathy.
I had crouched down beside Gray, tears flooding my cheeks as I tried waking him up. I shook his body and told him I loved him too. None of my words brought him back. He’d already turned blue—cold and stiff. I was left with no choice but to watch the light dim from his eyes, but not before he slipped a piece of paper in my hand.
Everything else after that was a blur.
I locked myself in my room.
Mom, who had been ‘on vacation’ since the shooting, left me in the care of a family member whom I’d never even met before—Aunt Yeong-ja—a skinny forty or fifty-year-old lady. The arrangements she’d made for her teenage daughter to be cared for in her absence further confirmed that she’d known her own plans even as she’d set out that beautiful dress for me. She’d been living this double life beneath my nose, and I completely, and utterly, fell for it.
I didn’t care enough to complain about the new setup. Instead, I kept on thinking about the piece of paper Gray gave me, one I couldn’t get myself to open.
Not until another week later.
I got up from my bed, still wearing my panda-printed pajamas when I saw the folded paper resting on my study table, waiting to be read. Every time I looked at it, and every time he crossed my mind, my heart broke into a million pieces. So, I avoided it.
Until one day, I gave in.
I took the letter with me to the bathroom, and with a heavy heart, unfolded it.
Next thing I knew, I was crying on the cool tile floor, imagining Gray’s struggle as he wrote this letter to me.
* * *
Aera,
I don’t really know where to start. I’ve never written a letter before, but just in case I don’t get a chance to say all this in person. Aera Song, I’ve only said this once, but I am going to say it again—in writing this time—so that it’ll live forever. I love you. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right away. I hope I’ll still be able to make you happy even if our time together isn’t eternal.
I’ve had feelings for you ever since we were kids. Seriously. I have proof. I don’t know if you remember this, but one time, I asked you to stay and play with me and Cole longer than you wanted to. I remember you walking away from me. I ran after you, but I tripped on a stone. Back then, I had this moment where I never thought you would come back, but you did. You held my hand and helped me up. I couldn’t have been any happier. And then you started dating Cole. When you kissed him on the rooftop, I was there, watching and feeling as though something had pulled my heart apart. That was the moment when I realized I didn’t just like you. It was much, much more than that … I love you. I’ve loved you since then.
I love everything about you, Aera. You’re rare. The real gem isn’t Skyhigh Falls. It’s you, and you shine. I love the way you ramble. How you’re so honest. The way you care. How even the smallest things make you happy. I love the way you talk about your favorite shows and books and songs. I love the way you say “dear me” and the way you randomly speak in Korean. I love the mute, the introverted but not shy, even the rude and outspoken side of you. Your struggles, your heartbreak, your failures. Everything about you draws me in. And if I love you and your flaws this much, I hope you can find it in yourself to love yourself too.
I wish I didn’t have to go. It would be so nice if I could stay, even just for a while. I’d ask you to dance with me, so we could dance to your favorite song, so I could hold you one more time. After that, I’d take you to the park and push you on the swing. Maybe eat coffee ice cream before going home. Aera, there are still so many things I want to do with you, but it’s okay. I just ask that you remember this: Whatever happens, don’t ever change. Don’t be sad, either. Remember that you made me the happiest even before you kissed me back. Remember to keep your head up and follow your dreams even when I’m no longer around. You’re beautiful and smart. Don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.
I believe in you. And I’ll always be rooting for you, small bean.
Love,
Gray Yoo
* * *
