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I letthe paper fall from my hands and onto the slippery tiles, allowing it to get soaked by water. As soon as my hands were free, I turned the bathtub faucet on full blast and sobbed so hard I could barely breathe.
I didn’t even realize the door opened until a man spoke out of the blue.
“Hey,” he said, his voice soft and gloomy all at the same time.
Lifting my gaze, I saw a tall man who seemed to be in his forties. He had dark brown hair, a well-defined nose with fair skin, and an intriguing soul patch for facial hair. Judging from his appearance and outfit—a white dress shirt and plain black slacks—he seemed too well-off to be a thief barging into someone else’s bathroom.
“Your Aunt Yeong-ja called me to come over,” he explained. “Your mom doesn’t know I’m here, but I heard about what happened to your friend. I’m sorry.”
I recognized his voice. He sounded like the man who’d claimed to be my father not long ago. “Are you … my dad?” I hesitated.
“Yes, yes, I am. We talked on the phone before, and …” He shook his head. “Never mind. How are you holding up?”
I looked down, chewing on my lower lip as tears slid down my cheeks. I should have felt something—anything—about seeing my father for the first time, but all I could feel was grief. All I could think about was Gray and our broken connection.
I covered my face with both hands and managed to say, “It was all because of me.”
“It’s not your fault,” my father said, kneeling before me with his hands resting over my shoulders. Despite not wanting anything from him, I didn’t resist his kind gesture when he pulled me closer into his warm embrace and told me the words I didn’t deserve to hear. My heart hurt so bad, and I needed a lie to make it hurt less.
* * *
My long-lostfather introduced himself as Ellis. He stayed the night and fell asleep on the couch with a newspaper obscuring his face.
The following day after breakfast, he brought me back to my room and opened the window. Looking in, we found a group of large ravens hanging out at the side yard. Some of them were picking at the fallen berries on the stone path. Others were perched on a tree branch, surveying the vicinity in grim silence.
“You see that raven looking straight at us?” He pointed at one of the ravens in the middle. “Her name is Ning. She’s your third cousin, and she’s about your age.” Ning flapped her wings as if waving at us. “You know what else? She used to be human. And so were the rest of them.”
I shot Ellis a glare.
“I’m not in the mood for this,” I said, tired and overloaded with information I didn’t even want to process. Introducing me to our cursed family of birds wasn’t helping reawaken my sanity.
“I’m aware, sweetheart. But you need to face it now.” He gently pushed me down to sit at the edge of my bed as he folded his shirt sleeves up to his elbows. What I saw then petrified me. His arms were not human; they were covered with coal black feathers, thick and shiny like a raven’s. He tried taking off his shoes to show me more, but I quickly waved my hand in the air, motioning for him to stop. “I’m sorry. Is this too much? I just thought maybe it would be easier for you to understand if you saw. If it wasn’t for your mother—”
“So your death visions stopped and you got to stayhalfhuman, but Gray had to lose his mother for all that to happen?” I raised my voice at him, my throat hoarse. “So what now? I get to be free and human in exchange for Gray's life? Do you want me to thank Eomma for murdering him?”
“That boy loved you, didn’t he?” Ellis smiled, but it wasn’t a happy smile. I would be a fool to think so when the pain etched on his face was crystal clear. After all, we carried the same curse. He understood my sorrow more than anyone. “Don’t you think he would want for you to have a good life moving forward?” he added.
“It’s not fair.” My voice cracked as I found myself on the verge of another breakdown.
“I know it’s not,” he agreed, squeezing my shoulders before patting them lightly. “Nothing is fair in this world, Aera. You will have many good days and many more bad days, but you have the power to choose how to navigate your life. Is it going to make you feel bitter or stronger? It’s your choice, but I hope you choose to be stronger.”
Paradise
Every timeI closed my eyes, I dreamed of paradise.
Then I would wake up and recall the day Gray took his last breath right before my eyes. And as my paradise turned into a living nightmare, the moon turned into dust.
Just like that … I lost the moon before I could even call it mine.
Not only once. My treacherous heart replayed it over and over.
Fighting to silence my irrational thoughts was no use. Losing my psychic powers didn’t confound me. What bothered me was how most people around me reacted to my grief. It was as if they found me more intriguing than what really happened at the gym. With the media not knowing whether to call it a tragic animal attack or a massacre executed by Rainer de Luca, it was difficult for me to move past it.
Some kids and teachers at school accused me of exaggerating my feelings. They said Gray and I weren’t even together long enough for me to feel broken. They said what we had wasn’t love. They said I’d get over it soon. That I’d be okay the next morning, move on with another boy. That if anyone were to mourn the longest, it shouldn’t be me. It should be Cole or the rest of Gray’s family and his friends.
They didn’t know anything.
Gray died in front of me.
