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I couldn’t help blushing. “He’s a man, Mum. And it was too much of a risk.” My vocal chords seized, my voice now tight. “If we broke up, or even worse, got divorced, what would happen with our families and businesses—”
“Better to act on matters of the heart than to be paralysed by the things that could go wrong,” Mum said, so matter-of-factly it shocked me. As if she were talking about buying toilet cleaner or receipt rolls for the point-of-sale machines in the cellar door. “Imagine, Rosalba, what could go right if you did tell him and gave yourselves a chance?”
Mrs Turner rapidly nodded.
I started, realising my index finger was still stroking his profile in his birthday photo.
Mum gently squeezed my arm. “Rosalba, trust your heart to know what to do.”
Someone entered the kitchen and I tore my eyes away from the photo to find Amanda before the table.
“I promise I will, Mum.” I straightened, swallowing hard, never breaking my stare from Amanda’s. “But right now, there’s someone else I need to speak with.”
“Come, Alessandra. Let’s have our tea on the patio. A few more minutes won’t ruin opera.”
Mrs Turner led my protesting mum away with two photo albums in her hands.
“You’re here. You’re back.” Amanda said, wringing her hands. “I saw the winery ute out front and I had to see if it was you. I don’t know if you want to see me ever again. God, you must hate me.”
Amanda looked pained. Dark circles were under her eyes, like she hadn’t been sleeping well.
“I don’t.”
How could I hate Amanda, when I’d just said the same reasons why I couldn’t be with Tom to our mothers?
I inhaled a deep breath. “But I’m still mad about what you did.”
“I’m so sorry. I don’t know how else to say it. Or what else to do.”
“All those years ago, you made those spells under the snow gum because you were protecting your brothers from acre chasers.”
Amanda blinked and sunk into a chair. “Yes. So many girls in high school used to talk about Ryan being such a catch. One joked about getting pregnant with him so he’d have to marry her.”
“Wow. Despite the fact he had a girlfriend.”
“And could take care of himself. Never stopped them talking like that. And the irony that Ryan did get Em pregnant and then didn’t marry her anyway.” Amanda sighed. “I acted so badly. If I were you, I wouldn’t forgive me. I can’t even imagine that you would.” She swiped a couple of stray tears from her eyes and my heart ached. “You should also know that I was selfish for a different reason when I told Tom to go away four years ago.”
‘Go away’ was one way of putting it.
“I was furious that he sounded like he was making a conquest out of you. There were so many rumours about him in high school.”
“They weren’t true. He’d dated two girls in high school before me.”
Amanda nodded. “I know, well. I know now. I was so out of line back then. I spoke to him. After the muster, yesterday. Briefly.”
My stomach swooped. What had they said? “Did he forgive you?”
“Not quite. He yelled, ripped me a new one, and we talked about what I did, and why. And what happened with Ainslee … and you. He said it would take time to forgive me.”
Amanda sucked her lips, her cheeks wet.
“I’m just so sorry. I was such an idiot back then, and I’m trying to make it right.”
I sighed and reached for her hand, and soon I too had wet cheeks.
I’d been angry too long. It was time for forgiveness.
“If you and Tom get together officially … I confess, I’m feeling jealous. He’ll get more of you that I will as your best friend.”
