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“There were things here before I moved.” I gesture where there were couches, a television, a computer. Everything a young man needed and more. “I spent a lot of time here.”
“Ah, yes, a young Evander. I can practically smell the porn and stolen beer from here.”
I roll my eyes. “What kind of man do you think I was?”
“I think you were once a teenage boy. Tell me you weren’t.”
“I was born fully formed.”
“Ouch. Your poor mother.”
I glare at her and stand in the middle of the room. “I didn’t bring you here to joke.”
“I know you didn’t,” she says softly, leaning against the wall, watching me cautiously. “The thing is, I’m not sure I want to hear this.”
“Why not?” I ask, genuinely surprised.
“Evander, what are we? Right now, we’re nothing. I’m your fake wife. You spend all your time running around, killing people and fighting, for what? I don’t even know anymore. You come home exhausted, like you’re empty, like you’re drained out. You barely look at me. You barely act like I exist.”
“You exist for me, asteraki mu,” I say quietly, staring at her, willing her to understand. “You are too bright. You’re the only bright thing in my life.”
She shakes her head. “I don’t believe you.”
“My life has been defined by violence. From the day I was born to now, it’s all been violence. But I was different before my father died. I laughed. There was a lightness. I haven’t had that in years, not until you came along.”
“Evander—”
“Just listen,” I say, almost pleading with her. “I need to get this out.”
She nods slowly, chewing her lip. “Okay. I’m listening.”
Chapter45
Evander
“My father was murdered ten years ago.” I pace over to the windows, my back turned to her. “When he was killed, it felt like a hole had been ripped into my body, a wound that would never heal. I still feel that wound, even now. It drains me to this day, Camille. I wake up some mornings, thinking I’ll speak to my father, go for a walk with him, go fishing in the lake, go out on the boats. But he’s gone.”
I take a deep breath and slowly let it out. “I thought he was killed by a rival gang. Back then, it was mostly the Irish. I didn’t learn the truth until one day, a week before I became lord of this family, I overheard my mother and Aunt Anissa crying with each other. It shocked me, the pain in my mother’s voice, and the pain in my aunt’s tone, the way they consoled each other. But what really broke me was when my mother said,I can’t forgive him, Anissa. I won’t ever forgive your husband for what he did to my Michael.”
Camille’s breathing quickens. “Your uncle killed your father?”
I nod very slowly. “I didn’t understand at first. It took me another few days to ask around, to make the proper inquiries. Eventually, Mother heard what I was doing and took me aside. She told me the truth.” I turn to look at Camille. “My father was not my father. Before I was born, my mother’s relationship with her husband was rocky and painful. They were going through something, and she made the mistake of sleeping with his brother—”
She sucks in a sharp breath. “Dimitra slept with her husband’s brother? With Anissa’s husband? Your uncle?”
“She made a mistake. One she still pays for to this day. But I was the product of that one horrible night, and my father didn’t know until a long time later. When he found out, he confronted his brother, and their argument turned into a fight, which ended with a gunshot wound to my father’s head.” I lean back against the gap between windows, closing my eyes. “It broke me when I found out. All my life, I assumed my father was my biological father, but it wasn’t true. Helen’s my half-sister. Sophia’s also my half-sister. I share a dad with Sophia and a mom with Helen. And it killed me, Camille. It killed me.”
“That’s why you did it,” she whispers, taking a step toward me. “Because of your dad.”
“It was petty revenge.” I remember the night so clearly. The surprise on Uncle Vassilis’s face. His mouth as it opened to speak, but no words came out. The gun as it bucked in my hand. All that blood. “I found my uncle in his study, in the office I still use. I murdered him, but I didn’t know my cousin was in the room too. He’d been behind the desk looking for a bottle of whiskey my uncle used to keep in the bottom drawer. When he stood, I panicked, turned the gun on him—” Another memory. Another gunshot. Thomas’s head cracking to pieces. My cousin. My half-brother.
“Evander,” she whispers.
“The male line of succession, wiped out in an instant. All for revenge. Petty, foolish revenge. If I could go back, I’d spare Thomas’s life. I’d let him take over as lord. I’d leave the family and never return. But instead, I killed my uncle to avenge my father, and I kill my cousin because that’s all I’ve ever known. Death and pain and violence.” I spread my hands, meeting her gaze and seeing pity, sick and awful pity. “Now you understand why Sophia hates me so much. Why Anissa despises me. These are the sins I carry with me. The sins I know will damn me.”
“Oh, Evander.” She comes closer, slowly, bridging the distance. “I’m so sorry that happened. God, I’m so sorry. For your poor mother, and Sophia and Anissa. And for you.”
“I never should’ve gone down that path. But I did, and ever since then I’ve been living with the consequences. I allow Anissa and Sophia to live here in comfort. I let them bicker, backstab, and make my life hell, all out of penance for what I did to their family. It is a debt I will never repay.”
