AllFreeNovel
Share Us
The lights snap off. Evander climbs in beside me. I feel him breathing, feel the heat roll off his body. I’m wide awake, tighter than a power line, buzzing with anxiety. I forgot what it was like to have him in my bed, and now that he’s here, it’s like I can’t stop thinking about him.
I can’t sleep, knowing he’s there.
“Camille,” he says, and I blink rapidly in surprise.
“Yes?”
I expect him to say—I don’t know what. A million different things. Apologies, small talk, lullabies.
Instead, he says, “Your ex-husband is a pain in my ass.”
I smile slightly. “That’s putting it mildly, I bet.”
“He’s like a cockroach. I stomp and stomp and he’s still not dead.”
“Now you know how I feel. Well, felt, I guess.”
“I’m glad you ended up with me.”
I start slightly and look over at him. He’s lying on his back, shirtless, staring at the ceiling, one huge arm tucked behind his head.
“You are? I kind of figured you really regretted it by now.”
He shakes his head. “If we hadn’t met, I doubt Conti would’ve gotten the punishment he deserves.” He glances at me. “I burned down your old house. Sorry about that.”
“I hated that place anyway. Ugly carpets.”
He smiles and looks back at the ceiling. “I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately, asteraki mu. I don’t think you’ve been far from my mind for weeks now.”
“That’s ominous, but not surprising. I’m a delight.”
He turns and looks at me. “My father had a gold allergy.”
I raise my eyebrows. “Sorry, what? That’s a non sequitur.”
“That’s why he didn’t wear a wedding ring. He had a gold allergy, and instead of buying a ring made from a different material, he simply never wore one. I didn’t know until my mother told my recently.”
“I’m sensing a metaphor.”
His face tightens and he shakes his head. “I don’t want to be like my father, unable to admit to a weakness. I don’t want to live my life, unable to do a simple thing that would make the people I care about happy, all because of my fucked-up pride.”
“What’s your weakness, Evander?” I whisper, afraid of the answer.
“I have a lot of them.” He looks back at the ceiling like staring into my eyes is too difficult. “I’m quick to anger. I solve my problems with violence. I’m stubborn to a fault. I’m not willing to forgive. I have impeccable taste in suits—”
“Not a flaw,” I point out.
“—but my taste is also very expensive.” He’s smiling slightly at his own joke, but the smile fades. “I hold back. I’m slow to trust. I feel things, asteraki mu, sometimes too deeply, and I let them tear into me without doing anything about them. I want to be better, but I don’t think I ever will be. Those are all flaws. I have more, but I don’t think I know what they are.”
I chew on my lip for a second, digesting. I’ve never heard him talk like this before, and the look on his face suggests it isn’t easy. “That was hard for you, wasn’t it?”
“Yes,” he admits. “But I’ve been thinking that I don’t want to keep going in this war, keep risking my life without ever telling someone that. Without ever admitting I’m imperfect.”
“Nobody thinks you’re perfect, Evander. Nobody expects you to be, either.”
“In a family like this, even if everyone knows the lord is flawed, they pretend otherwise. Admitting to flaws is admitting to weakness, and weakness gets you killed when you’re standing at the top of a mountain built on blood.”
“But you trust me enough to say it?”
