AllFreeNovel
Share Us
He closes his eyes. “You might be the only person I trust, asteraki mu. I know you’re angry with me—”
“I’m not angry.”
He opens them and looks over. “Then why have you acted like you don’t want to be around me?”
“I’m trying to be realistic,” I say softly, forcing myself to stay calm. I swear, he must be able to hear my heart racing. “We got involved because you felt bad for me. We got married because you wanted to keep your promise to keep me safe, but you were worried how your family would react having an Italian Capo’s ex-wife around. We never said this would last forever, and do you really want that? Do I want that?”
“Camille,” he whispers.
I shake my head. “It’s okay, I know you weren’t talking about our marriage. I have flaws too, you know. I get in my own head. I obsess about the past. I worry about everything to a fault. I’m terrified someone will hurt me like Christopher did. I also want to be better, but I don’t know how. I don’t know how to be my own person and it terrifies me. How am I supposed to know what I want if I haven’t experienced anything at all?”
He’s silent for a long moment. He looks like he’s digesting that, and I wish I hadn’t said it. This wasn’t supposed to be about me or our relationship—it was about him.
But it’s the truth. I’ve been so sheltered all my life. Now it’s like I’m seeing things around me for the first time, but I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with any of it.
Slowly, he moves closer. His hand touches my leg, and instead of flinching away, I let my eyes drift down to his chest then back to his mouth. He’s looking at me like he wants to shred me, like he wants to break me.
No matter how dark things get, there’s always this.
An animal, instinctual attraction.
Physical and undeniable.
“Nobody knows what they really want, asteraki mu,” he says finally. “Of anyone I’ve ever met, you’re the most well-adjusted. You’re the only one that actually tries to do what she thinks is right.”
“How’s that? All I do is lie around the house.”
“Exactly. You could leave, you could go to the diner. You could do anything at all—spa days, shopping weekends, whatever. Instead, you stay here.”
“Because right now, I’m only trouble.”
“The fact that you know it, and you let it dictate how you live, means you’re a better person than most.” He touches my cheek softly. “We’re both flawed people, but I don’t know how much credit we get for knowing it.”
“Will you do something for me?” I feel like I’m going to explode, like my nerves are going to break out of my chest and go for a rampage. “Come here. Come closer. Yeah, like that.”
He shifts himself over, his front against my side. He wraps an arm around me, his mouth nestled in the crook of my shoulder and my neck, his breath warm on my skin. I chew on my cheek to try to calm my heart but it’s hard, with a man like him so close.
I should get out of bed. I should walk away. Letting him lie like this, asking him to touch me like this, it’s only going to complicate things even more.
But it feels good. That’s the problem: it feels so damn good.
“It’s okay,” he whispers, a hand on my thigh, but not coming closer. He kisses my throat lightly. “Close your eyes. Take deep breaths.”
“I don’t know why you’re comforting me all of a sudden.” But I do as he says, eyes shut, breathing deep and steady. “This was supposed to be aboutyourflaws, not my anxiety.”
“It can be about both. Honestly, it feels good to be wanted.”
“It really does.”
I put my hand on top of his arm. I snuggle tighter, feeling his weight and his warmth, his mouth and his body. I want more—a voice in my head screams at me to take this further—but this comfort feels so much more intimate than sex ever could. Fucking is one thing, but lying here in the dark after admitting to our deepest faults feels like something bigger.
I feel myself drifting. The weight of sleep grows heavy. Evander’s breathing steadies as a deep calm falls over the room.
His voice comes, almost from a distance, husky with exhaustion.
“Gareth solved our problem,” he says, so softly I almost think I’m dreaming. “He found a judge. He bribed him.”
“What does that mean?” I mumble, shifting closer to breathe him in.
