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June15
I know Dolly is hurting. It’s killing me . . . not knowing how to be there for her. I’m only adding to her pain in all of this. I’m going to fix it. I’m going to change. She deserves the world. She deserves happiness and love and she deserves to be a mom. She was born to be a mother. She has so much love to give to everyone. Sometimes I feel like she settled with me. I know I’ve fucked up beyond belief, and sometimes I feel like I’ll never be able to make it right. All I know is, I love her. I’m lost in life right now, but I know that with her by my side, I can do anything. But no matter what happens, even if life takes a different turn, I know Dolly will always have Ranger by her side to protect her and take care of her. That’s why he’s my best friend, my brother. He’ll always be there.
I sitin shock for I don’t know how long. Finally, I stand up, walking upstairs to put on my jeans and a hoodie. I grab a pen, scribbling a note for Dolly in case she wakes up before I get back, then grab my keys and drive over to the cemetery.
I fall on my knees at his grave, tears already falling uncontrollably. “I’m so sorry, Dean. I’m so sorry you couldn’t fix things, but you’re right. I will always be here. I will take care of Dolly—I’ll protect her and be by her side every step of the way.” I choke out the words, my shoulders shaking as the sobs take over. “I just wish you knew how much I miss you, and how much I love you.” I wipe my sleeve across my eyes, attempting to regain some of my composure. “I’m going to propose to her, Dean. I’m going to marry her. I’ve fought the feelings for so long, and I’ve felt so much guilt, but I’m letting it all go. Right here, right now, I’m letting it all go.”
I sit back, watching the sun slowly rise, peeking over the mountains as I reminisce about some of my favorite times with Dean. I go from crying to laughing to feeling like he’s almost sitting right beside me, letting me know that everything is finally going to be okay.
23
DAHLIA
“How are we this lucky?” I lean back against Ranger’s chest, closing my eyes as the sun beats against my face. “It’s like we live in a picture-perfect calendar here.”
“Mm-hmm.” His voice rumbles in my ear, the vibrations from his chest tickling my back as he wraps his arms around me. Our feet are dangling in the cool mountain lake as we sit on the dock . . .our dock,as we refer to it.
“Did you ever read it?” I ask nervously, referring to the journal I gave him several nights ago.
“I did. Thank you for giving it to me and encouraging me to read it.”
I don’t feel the need to ask him about it further. I understand him well enough to know it put him at ease. I lean back into him further, grabbing his forearms and wrapping them tightly around my shoulders. “I love you so much,” I whisper, kissing his arm.
“I love you too, baby. You know, I’ve been trying to think of the perfect thing to say or the perfect way to say it . . .” He pulls one arm away from me, sliding it into his pocket.
My closed eyes pop open.Is he about to do what I think he’s about to do?
“But the reality is, there’s no perfect way to do it or say it, other than saying what I feel and what’s on my heart. Dahlia, you’re my best friend, sweetheart. You have been since I met you. You’re it for me, baby—my other half.” He wraps his arm back around me, holding out a stunning solitary diamond with a gorgeous gold-and-diamond band.
“Are you . . . ?” I’m stunned. I know it’s happening, but I can’t process it. I turn around to face him, then turn back to look at the ring.
“Yeah, baby, give me your hand.” He laughs, sliding the ring onto my finger. “Will you marry me?”
“Yes!” I practically shout as I grab his face, kissing him then looking at the ring on my finger in disbelief. “Oh my God, oh my God, you proposed. I’m marrying you!” I can’t stop smiling, and my eyes feel like they’re about to bug out of my face as I stare at the ring then back at him.
“Why are you so shocked?” He laughs.
“I just—I’m marrying you!” I repeat as I sink back against him. I hold my hand out so the sun catches the diamond, sparkling like glitter. We both stare at it as Ranger lifts his hand to join mine, twisting our fingers together.
“That’s right, darlin’, you’re marrying me. You’re going to be my wife and the mother of our children, and I’m going to be the luckiest man in the world.”
“Who should we tell first?” I ask, still mesmerized by the light dancing over my ring.
“How about your dad?”
I close my eyes, my heart feeling like it’s going to explode, but at the same time, it feels broken knowing that as excited as we both are, my dad, who no longer recognizes me, won’t understand our joy. He’ll be excited for me when I tell him: asking who the lucky guy is and telling me I’m so beautiful—like his wife—but he won’t know it’s me, his daughter.
* * *
One Month Later. . .
“I can’t believethis is our backyard.” I walk through the archway made of white and pink roses, peonies, and dahlias. “It’s breathtaking.”
“Do you like it?”
“I love it.”
“My mom and aunts were so excited for it. They worked with the florist on every little detail.”
