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“That's true.” She smiles. “I certainly wasn't expecting it.”
“Can't say I wasn't hoping for it, though.”
“Really?” Her gaze lifts, bottom lip locked between her teeth. “You were thinking about me like that even when you were being all cranky and stuff?”
My brows twitch in amusement. “Cranky?”
“You know what I mean.”
“Yeah, princess. You think I didn't mean every word I said while I was fucking you? There’s never been another woman like you.”
“But you were so angry.”
“Only 'cause my heart was broken.”
“And now?” she asks, drawing love hearts over my chest with her finger.
“It doesn't feel so broken anymore.”
* * *
Daylight leaks into the room through a crack in the drapes and bathes Thea's naked body in sun dust. I've been awake for an hour now and creepy as it is, I've spent it all studying her while she sleeps.
Six years have barely touched her. It's as if she hasn't aged a bit, but you can still tell she's older somehow. She's lost some of her innocence, but in its place is a sophistication she didn't have before. The difference is visible even in the way she sleeps, like she's so used to people watching her that she can't be vulnerable even in unconsciousness.
She's got more freckles now too. She was bound to, I know that, but it still makes me kind of sad. Because those twenty-three new freckles are proof that we're not the same people we were back when I last counted them. We're changed, fundamentally and forever.
And truthfully, that's a fact that frightens me. Because though my heart still craves her like it did back when we were kids, I don't know if it knows how to love her as the woman she is now and not just the girl she was back then.
It's kind of gut-wrenching to realize that we don't really know each other anymore. We could never be strangers, even if a thousand years passed without contact, but we're not what we used to be either. We can't consider ourselves friends, considering that we acted like we hated each other until just last night. We can't even call ourselves lovers because we've only slept together once.
I don't know what we are.
I don't even know what I want us to be.
Last night came straight out of my teenage fantasies and god do I want to do it again, but could we really have anything more than that? Is it foolish to hope that we could be something even with our history and how far apart our worlds are?
I know better than to think an A-list Hollywood actress and a small-town mechanic could ever work. The media would have a field day. They'd tear us apart until we crumbled.
Thea stirs beside me, eyelids creeping open. “You're staring at me.” She yawns, then burrows herself underneath the covers to hide from the morning light.
“Hard not to.”
I tug at the blanket gently, pulling it down just enough for her to peep her round eyes up at me.
“You're corny,” she giggles.
“You're beautiful.”
She rolls her eyes and sits up, wrapping the covers around herself to hide her naked body.
I chuckle at the needlessness of it. “Baby, I had your pussy in my face last night. There's no need to hide from me after that.”
Her cheeks flame red and her gaze drops to her lap. “I just didn't know what to expect from you this morning.” Her voice is shy and quiet, and it makes me feel like an asshole. “Didn't know if you'd have regrets or anything.”
“Shit, that was insensitive. I'm sorry.” Pulling her into my lap, I cup her face in my hands. “But there are no regrets on my side. You can trust me on that.”
“Yeah?” She looks back up at me with a small smile.
