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“Isn’t he? So, most of the stuff is through here, in the end room.” She opened the door to reveal a room piled high with donated baby goods. Blankets, diapers, clothes, formula. “People have been so generous, it blows my mind. I got all this from one post on the local community Facebook page when Thomas came to me. I do have some bigger stuff in the garage, though. You might want to load that first?”
“Sounds good.”
“Okay, let’s go out there.” The baby started crying and immediately, Fiona looked at Ally. “Are you good with babies? Not nervous or anything?”
“No, I’m fine.”
“Wonderful. Do you mind picking him up for me? He’s probably okay, but I really hate to let him cry too much, because of his previous history.”
Ally moved into the living room and scooped the baby up, finding the pacifier that was clipped to his onesie and putting it in his mouth. She ran the tip of her finger down his cheek, her eyes roving gently over his face. “What’s his previous history?”
“His mother was a heroin addict, so when he was born, he was hooked. The only way to get a baby off a drug like that is cold turkey, which is agony. They just cry and cry and cry and all you can do is hold them through it and wait for it to pass. So that’s what I did.”
“How awful,” Ally whispered.
“Yeah, it was. He’s doing great now, of course, reaching all his milestones just like he should. But I think it traumatized me a bit, to be honest, because now the sound of him crying at all breaks my heart and I can’t leave him. He’s still so little to have been through so much, you know? I just don’t feel like I can love him enough to make up for it.”
Without a word, Ally turned away, holding the baby close and crooning to him as she swayed back and forth.
“Yep, you obviously know what you’re doing. We’ll get the stuff in the garage if you’re okay in here?”
Keeping her back to us, Ally nodded. Thomas was already quieter, so we went out to the garage. With the truck backed up in the drive, it didn’t take too long to load the car seats, portable cots and change tables in the back. When we got back inside, Thomas was quiet, so either Ally had gotten him to sleep or settled him right down.
“We won’t be long getting the stuff in here,” Fiona whispered.
“No problem,” Ally said just as quietly. I watched her for a moment, her head bowed over the baby, still swaying gently back and forth. She might have been upset, but since she wouldn’t look up at us, I couldn’t be sure.
Fiona tilted her head in the direction of the hallway, so I followed her, grabbing as much as I could and taking it out to the truck. “Lucy will be thrilled with all this, thank you.”
“I’m just happy to be able to help. Plus, it’ll be great to have the room cleared out so Thomas can go in there when he’s ready.”
We moved in and out of the house, loading up the truck until the room was empty.
“All done,” Fiona said cheerfully, moving to Ally to take Thomas back from her. “Thanks so much. You’re a natural.”
“No problem.” Eyes downcast, Ally brushed her hand over Thomas’ head and, still not looking at us, went outside. I left Fiona to put the baby to bed and went out, frowning when I saw Ally wipe furtively at her face as she reached for the truck door.
“Allegra.” She paused with her hand on the door handle. “What is it?”
“That poor baby,” she said, her voice breaking. Instinctively, I pulled her into my arms and she turned into me, resting her head on my chest as she wept quietly.
“He’ll be fine, you know,” I reassured her.
“Will he?” She asked, her voice muffled against my shirt.
“Definitely. Because as much as there are shit people in the world, there are also good ones, like Fiona. People that step up, step in, do the heavy work, regardless of the cost, to make the world a better place.” I felt her take a shaky breath and rubbed my hand up and down her back comfortingly. “That’s the kind of person Thomas is with. He’ll be okay because Fiona stepped up. She won’t let him down.”
Raising her head, she looked at me with tragic, tear-drenched eyes. I wiped away the tears on her cheeks with my thumbs, fighting the overwhelming urge to kiss her. Now was not the time. As if she sensed the feeling, she tensed in my arms, pulling back. I let her go. Anything else would have been wildly inappropriate.
“So – you wanna go see these reality tv stars?”
“Sure do.”
“Okay. In you get.” I waited while she climbed into the truck, then closed the door behind her. It was a quiet ride back to Esperance and the Slow River Ranch. Maybe Ally was thinking about what we’d talked about, I don’t know. Personally, my thoughts were wrapped up in her. How boisterous and funny she was most of the time, but also, how disarmingly sweet and loving she could be. I was starting to realize that maybe I wanted a lot more from her than a quick fuck, which led straight to me thinking about what I was going to do about that.
* * *
“Okay, so, I’ll try my hardest not to embarrass you here, but I can’t make any promises. I’m probably going to fangirl so hard you’ll yeet me to the curb the second we leave.”
