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“Lego! Look, Gabe!”
“Wow! That’s awesome.”
The spell was broken, and I huffed out a breath of relief. These were seriouslynotappropriate or comfortable thoughts to be having right now.
The next gifts were a science kit from Lucy and Dante, then a junior magic set from Claire and Jen. My gift was last, and I actually had to wipe my hands on my jeans, I was so stupidly nervous.
I needn’t have been. Jesse ripped the wrapping paper off and then held the box in his hands for the longest moment, before raising a pair of shining eyes to me. “Thanks, Allegra!”
“You’re very welcome.”
“Can I take it out of the box?”
“If your dad says you can, sure.”
“We’ll need scissors.”
Bruce got some from the kitchen as Jesse brought the box over to Gabe, sitting on the arm of the sofa while Gabe started pulling the box open.
“It’s got batteries already. They’re in the box.”
“Perfect.”
“A remote-control Spiderman car? I’d say Ally wins,” Lucy joked.
“If you want to give it a test drive, how about we take it out to the back deck, so it’s not on the carpet. That way I can get the meat going, too.”
At Bruce’s suggestion, we all moved out to the back deck and sure enough, somehow I found myself sitting next to Gabe, on the long bench below the elm tree at the corner of the deck. The late afternoon sun was already dipping toward the horizon, painting the sky in streaks of pink and purple. Bruce had the barbecue going and the satisfying sound of sizzling meat filled the air.
Jesse put the car down on the deck, pressing the controls on the remote a little, getting a feel for how quickly it might move. It was pretty responsive, jolting forward at the slightest touch, which made it hard for Jesse to control it. His look of frustration told Gabe all he needed to know. “You want some help with it?” Jesse shrugged, handing over the remote, trying to look like he didn’t really care. Gabe tweaked it a little, prodding dials gently. “Just really light, like this, yeah?”
“I can’t do it.”
“Sure you can. I’ll help you.” Gabe held the controller out to Jesse, shifting to the edge of the seat so he could put one arm around Jesse, allowing him to hold the remote with both hands. The frown of frustration turned to one of concentration when he could see what Gabe was doing and realized just how lightly he needed to touch the dials. It didn’t take too long for him to get the balance just right, sending the car forward across the deck and straight toward Chloe. She squealed, jumping up into her dad’s lap, which made everyone laugh.
“Again!” She climbed down, taking two steps to the left. Sticking his tongue out between his teeth as he concentrated on the car, Jesse sent it after her, grinning when she scrambled into Ellen’s lap. “Yay! Again again again!” So he did it again and she got a bit braver this time, moving further out into the middle of the deck, so she had to run faster to get away from the car. Matt caught her as she nearly fell, giggling and breathless with laughter, and pulled her into his lap. “You can’t get me! You can’t get me!”
Unconsciously, Jesse slipped into Gabe’s lap, pushing his feet into the deck, tension coursing through his body as he concentrated on chasing Chloe with the car. It was done so naturally that I’m sure Jesse wasn’t even aware of the fact that he was sitting in his dad’s lap and that Gabe had stiffened in surprise before taking a deep breath and saying, “Softly, that’s it. Now…go!” Jesse followed Gabe’s instructions, lightly tapping the car against the back of Chloe’s foot as she tried to jump at Dante.
“Got you!”
Giggling and a little sweaty, Chloe announced, “I’m tired now. You wanna go on the trampoline?” She pushed her hair back from her forehead, clambering back down to the deck.
“Sure.” It seemed like Jesse only suddenly remembered where he was, because when he stood, he looked a little self-conscious.
“I’ll take that.” Gabe took the remote from him, made the car drive across the deck to him and picked it up.
“Thank you.” And there was that formal tone back again. At least he’d had a few moments where he’d relaxed completely and was able to be a kid.
I watched them go, dragging Matt and Zara with them down the back steps. I pretended not to notice the way Zara waggled her eyebrows at me on her way past, but couldn’t help crossing my arms protectively in front of me and shifting a little away from Gabe. I did glance at him, though, because, come on, I’m only human. He had his face slightly averted, watching Jesse helping Mila onto the trampoline.
“He’s such a good kid.”
He turned to look at me, the glow in his eyes making my heart squeeze. Fuck, I really wished he wouldn’t look at me like that. It felt too good. “He really is.”
“He seems a bit different, too.”
“You think?”
