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“Um, hi.”
“Ally! Hi! So glad you’re here! What have you got there?” Ellen bustled forward. Her sweet attempt to cover the awkwardness actually made it worse, because she overdid it.
“Cannoli.”
“Cannoli, hey? My favorite!” Bruce gave me a reassuring smile.
“I’ll just take it inside for now, so Bruce doesn’t steal any while I’m not looking. Have a seat. Dinner won’t be long.”
We moved to sit on the bench under the giant elm. I knew Zara and Lucy were watching us, but I didn’t look at them. I was feeling a little shaky all of a sudden, completely regretting the decision to come. How would it look if I just got up and left? Yeah, no. Weird.
“It’s fine, Allegra. You’re overthinking it.” Gabe lay his arm along the back of the bench, speaking low in my ear, so no one could hear.
I looked up at him, my eyes clouded with uncertainty. “It’s just…”
“Just say the word and we go straight home.”
I twisted my hands together nervously. What the fuck was wrong with me? It was just dinner with the Coopers. “We can’t—”
“Yes, we can.”
The fact that he would get up and leave, just like that, made me feel a bit better. “No, I’ll be okay. I just need to sit here for a bit.”
“So that’s what we’ll do.” He put his arm around me and I knew I should stop him, move away, but I needed it too damn much. So instead, I leaned into him, taking the comfort he offered. “And you can stop doing this, too.” Taking one of my hands in his, he linked his fingers through mine, holding it in his lap, so I couldn’t twist my hands together fretfully anymore.
Such a small thing, but somehow it did make me feel better. I made myself take a few deep breaths and felt my heart rate start to settle. Looking up at him, I found his eyes on me. Deep blue, and so calm. I started to relax even more, loosening my grip on his fingers, settling next to him. “I have no idea how you do that.”
His lips quirked up in that hot, sexy, half smile that made butterflies dance in my stomach. “Do what?”
I smiled back. “Just, I don’t know…make me feel better.”
Running his thumb along the back of my hand, his only answer was a shrug. Content with that, I nestled against his side, letting the conversation flow around me. I could fight this, pull away, but why? Gabe made me feel good and I needed that right now. So, I let myself have it.
“Hey, Gabe! Watch this!” Jesse called out from the yard, where he was on the trampoline with Chloe and Mila.
“I’m watching.” Jesse did a half somersault that nearly put his foot in the side of Mila’s head. “Crap, I’d better go down there. He’s gonna knock someone out in a minute. You okay here?”
“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” I watched him go, barely managing to drag my eyes away when Zara sat down next to me.
“Hey.”
“Hi.” I swallowed. Boy, did I owe her an explanation. If only I knew where to start.
“You alright?”
The gentleness in her tone almost brought tears to my eyes. She could have been angry with me for not telling her about staying with Gabe. Angrier still when she realized I was withholding important stuff from her, even if she didn’t know it was about my dad. But that wasn’t who Zara was, and the fact that I’d even been worried about it was stupid. “Um, not really.”
“You want to tell me about it?”
I looked into her eyes, imagined telling her about my dad, how upset she would be, how real that would make it. How that would shatter the tenuous hold I had on my fear. “I’m so sorry, I can’t right now. I wish I could, but it’s just so…it’s too…I mean, I will, for sure… eventually… but not…”
“Okay.” She rubbed my arm. “Gabe’s looking after you, though?”
The sounds of shrieks of laughter floated up to the deck. Gabe had climbed onto the trampoline and was tossing the kids around like bean bags. “Yeah, he is.”
“I’m glad. Although it does seem to have gone beyond just casual sex.”
I shrugged. “He’s a good friend.”
