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Killion’s watch began to beep, interrupting Ayelish, “They’ll be waking any minute. I better get their bottles made before they fuss and wake her.”
“We can tag team it,” Ayelish said. Reaching for two bottles, she handed him one. “Killion—”
“It’ll be easier with her here.” He interrupted again, handing Ayelish a small sealed bag from the refrigerator and taking one for himself. He held it up, just before pouring it into the bottle on the counter in front of him. “She can breast feed them every feed if she wants. She won’t have to do the whole pump and toss it in a cooler thing.”
“Killion…”
“Or she can still pump and do mostly bottles.” He shrugged, popping the finished bottle in the warmer. “It’s really her choice. Either way, this stuff is like gold. At least that’s what the research I did says. But formula works too. It can be just as healthy or they wouldn’t be able to sell it. I have some on hand in case Rainy decides she’s done, or whatever.”
Ayelish popped the lid on the bottle she was preparing and waited to toss it in the warmer. “Killi—”
“I can send you all the research I gathered along with the spreadsheets and flowcharts that lay out the pros and cons.” He interrupted again, testing the bottle on his arm. “Have you decided what you’re going to do?”
Ayelish let out a deep sigh. “I’ve definitely decided to put you in a headlock if you don’t stop rambling and deflecting, big brother.”
“Pregnancy hormones?” he questioned, responding to her sharp tone. “Making you a little edgy? I read about that.”
“You are making me a lot edgy, Killion, and I can’t even get mad about it because you come by this honestly.” She rolled her eyes and grabbed the bottle from the warmer and shook it over her arm.
His brow furrowed. “Come by what?”
“Exactly,” she deadpanned, leaning against the kitchen counter.
“I don’t follow.”
“I know. Never have I known a more serious, literal human in my life.” She snickered. “You see everything in black and white, exactly as it is, and it’s both wonderful and infuriating.”
“Thank… you?”
“Brother… you’re right about Rainy. I’m sure of it.” Ayelish continued, “She’s exhausted from all that she’s been through the past few months, the hard work at the facility to reclaim her life, and of course what happened while leaving the rehab center.”
Killion crossed his arms, bottle still in hand, and dropped his head. “She just… shut down… lost it. I think it’s PTSD. I read all about it to prepare, even have a file if you’re curious, but…”
“Killion…”
“Right,” he said. “Save it.”
“Look who’s catching on.” She chuckled. “I want you to understand two things. One, there is nothing you could’ve don’t to prevent her reaction to what happened today. PTSD looks different in everyone, and it’s completely unpredictable.”
A sullen look crossed his expression. “I could’ve protected her, Aye.”
“You did protect her, and it’s why she’s alive, sleeping it off in the other room. No matter how many books you read and how much of an expert you become… you can’t fix this for her or stop it from happening. It’s her journey, and your job is to support her through it.”
Killion slowly bobbed his head, processing what his sister had just said. “And two?”
Ayelish tilted her head and smiled softly as her eyes filled with emotion. “Experience your journey too.”
“My journey?” His words laced with confusion.
“You have PTSD too. It was triggered today just like hers.”
He vigorously shook his head. “I don’t have—”
This time, Ayelish cut him off. “I know you have a checklist somewhere and probably wrote a program to track your suspected emotions, responses, and symptoms. If you don’t have any of that, your condition is worse than we thought.”
“I do. I had a lot of late nights when the babies were in the NICU and… did all of that.”
Ayelish snapped her finger in some sort of victory and pointed at him. “I know you well, and I also know that you already know what I’m telling you then. In a single day, a handful of months ago, you found out who the love of your life really was and why she disappeared from your life on a whim, and that she was carrying your children. Then, within hours, you nearly lost all of them in a blink of an eye. That’s a lot of trauma, big brother. Especially for a guy like you. I know you’re struggling to process it all.”
