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“I’m fine. Truly.” She ensured. “I think we’re about done here, at least little miss is, and I’ve mastered feeding at the same time, but not burping at the same time and definitely not burping one while the other is still eating. Not sure I’ll ever master those things, two at a time.”
He noted the hint of defeat in her tone and reassured her. “I don’t know that anyone could do all that. It would be quite the juggling act. You’re doing great, Rainy. Especially considering what the past several weeks have been like.”
She handed their daughter to Killion as he tossed a cloth over his shoulder for her to rest her head on. “I appreciate you saying that. It’s a little frustrating, you know? Feeling behind, like the race started without me and I have miles of catching up to do.”
“That’s because it did,” he said, taking the chair next to her, a side table between them. “Don’t sell yourself short. Despite the odds you’ve conquered the obstacles for these two. You’re gaining more strength every day. You should be proud of that. It’s pretty remarkable.”
“Thank you for saying that.” She smiled, adjusting their son and putting him on her shoulder as he was done eating now too. “It’s not just for them, Killion. I’m fighting for you too. For all of us.”
Killion remained silent, unsure how to respond. Unsure what that meant. She was fighting for him because she wanted to pick up where they left off or because she felt guilty leaving him with so much to do on his own while she was recovering.
“I’ll always fight for this,” she whispered, kissing the top of the baby’s head.
Silence filled the room until the babies both let out a deep belch, causing Killion and Rainy to laugh.
“Now that is the O’Reilly in them,” Killion said, smiling, which was rare for him. “I think you two have had too much time with your uncles.”
“I’ll give you that one, though, the short time I’ve been reacquainted with my brothers, I can say they probably don’t help.” Rainy amused. “They definitely look like O’Reilly’s, though. That serious scowl they both wear is all you.”
“I don’t know. I see a little Meyer in there too. Especially that smirk they both get right before they fill a diaper. Now when I see your brothers smirking like that, I wonder if they need a restroom,” Killion teased.
Rainy burst into laughter. “I know the smirk. Have you told them that?”
“No.”
“Please let me. Next time either one of them does it.” Rainy guffawed. “Knowing those two, they’ll take pride in it.”
“I don’t doubt that,” Killion added. “We might want to think about the time spent with Wit and Hen or the first words out of these two will be…”
“Something foul?” she chortled.
“They’ll get that from all their uncles… aunts too,” Killion said. “I was thinking it’ll be yeehaw.”
Laughter overcame her in a way that hadn’t since she’d been back, and Killion found pleasure in the sound.
“Can you imagine? Just wait until Wit’s and Hen’s babies get here in a couple of months. The Meyer-O’Reilly clan of babies will be the rowdiest of all with their yeehaws and sippy cups full of soup.”
“Listen, we should probably get this out of the way now. I’m all for pets when they’re old enough, but I draw the line at stray wildlife moving in here like your brother’s. Maybe we start with a goldfish, work our way up to something a little more domesticated like a cat or a dog?”
“I agree. Though that squirrel is more tame than his unruly cat, from what I understand,” Rainy added.
Killion nodded as he began to rock the baby sleeping soundly on his shoulder. “Maybe we just focus on babies and let them visit everyone else’s pets for the time being.”
Rainy’s head rested on the back of the chair and turned his direction while a satisfied grin worked its way into her stare. “Yeah… I’d like that.”
Killion relaxed his head into the back of the chair as well, not ready to put the sleeping babies to bed just yet. There was something different about this moment. Something different about the late-night feeding and the time he was spending with the babies. It was lighter. Relaxed. Though right on schedule, it was less routine and focused. It was… fun. And it was all because of Rainy.
Like there was a shift in the air, suddenly it all seemed so different to him. Being in that room with the babies wasn’t about ticking off a check list that went along with caring for them. It was casual and felt… more. More of what? Killion couldn’t put a finger on it, but he liked it.
He also liked being there with Rainy. Not only did it make the task of feeding two babies who were inevitably hungry at the same time that much easier with the extra hands, it made it more pleasurable. He could take his time, and for the first time since bringing the babies home –– hell, first time since being a dad –– he felt content like he had everything he needed.
He’d spent days –– weeks –– dwelling on all the new normal, all the new feelings, and all the new fears without the ability to understand the why, where, and how of it all. Killion had been trapped in his own personal hell, feeling incomplete and like he wasn’t enough because he didn’t understand the fear he was living in and why he couldn’t protect that which was most important to him now. His family.
He understood now.
9
“I didn’t recognize the drivers. Honestly, they were too far away,” Rainy informed the team during a morning debriefing in the Lair at Watermark Tower. “I assumed those vehicles were part of the security detail –– same kind of cars you all drive. Dark-colored SUVs.”
