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“I woke up when I heard them,” Rainy said, breaking the silence between them. “I think they were talking to each other.”
“Talking?”
“You know, baby gibberish.” She giggled and looked down at them. “It’s like they have their own little language between them. They adore each other, don’t you think?”
“It’s a twin thing,” he said, moving into the room and setting the bottles down on a nearby dresser. “All of the twins in our family have their own special bond. It’s common I guess. I imagine these two have it as well.”
“I hope they do. There’s something special about it. I see how Ayelish and Ashlyn are and Luke and Liam…”
“Ronan and Ryker too. They’re all like that,” he added, creating general conversation.
“Well, maybe it’s an O’Reilly thing then.” Rainy shrugged. “Regardless, I love this for them. They’ll always have a best friend, you know? Someone looking out for them.”
“It’s their late-night feeding time, but I guess you already know that,” Killion said, pointing at the bottles. “I made these, didn’t want to disturb your rest.”
“Thank you, but I think we’re okay. I think the reason I heard them was because my body knew they were awake. Is that weird? I could feel they were hungry and needed to feed them or pump.”
“Not weird at all. I read that it’s natural for a mother’s body to be in sync with her children’s while breastfeeding,” he said. “It’s how you keep up your supply and…”
She giggled. “You’ve been reading again, huh?”
“I guess. Yeah. Wanted to be prepared since everything started out for them, and you, so differently than the typical situation,” he said. “Wanted to make sure I was able to support whatever was needed. You know, for all of you.”
“I appreciate that, Killion,” she said. “Who would have known I could still breastfeed while in a coma?”
“It was a hard decision to make. I didn’t want to cross a line, but in the end, I thought it was what you would have wanted. I, uh, I figured so many decisions were taken from you over the years and even through your pregnancy that it would be unfair to take this one away from you too. I mean, I did make the decision for you because I didn’t want this… what you’re doing now, taken from you. Just… in… case.”
Killion paced, moving to the large window in the room, then straightening their cribs, before moving back to where he’d been standing.
“I’m glad you did. I wouldn’t trade this for anything. I lost so much time with them as it is. These moments are so precious.” A tear trailed her cheek.
Killion made his way to her, and kneeled in front of her, swiping away the tear since her hands were full.
“I’m sorry.” She let out an emotional chuckle. “I’m sort of a mess, I guess. Maybe a little hormonal still. It’s just that I haven’t been able to feed them like this since I was in the hospital, awake those couple of weeks before going to the rehab facility. I really missed this time with them.”
“I understand,” Killion said. “Sometimes it isn’t hormones, Rainy. I read that sometimes it’s just emotions that surface when children enter the picture. It’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling.”
“Wow. You really are becoming an expert.” She giggled. “You could teach a class.”
“I just like to know whatever I can to help. With everyone having kids around here like wildfire, I’ve read a little bit more with each one born so I could… you know… help, I guess.”
“It’s you’re way of showing your affection,” she said. “I understand. Everyone reacts differently, that’s just yours. You’re the helper. You take care of everyone, keep them safe. It’s how you show you care.”
Her words rushed over him with a chill. Though a compliment, it struck him that she was able to state so quickly and clearly who he was and why he was the way he was when he couldn’t even do that about himself. He stood and paced again, considering what she had said as there was a lot to dissect and reconcile in that handful of words. Was that really it? Was that who he was? Maybe that was why he was struggling. He takes on the protector role –– looks over everyone –– he kept everyone safe… but couldn’t keep his own family safe. Or could he?
“Killion?” she whispered. “You okay? Did I say something?”
“Yeah. You said everyone reacts differently, and that I’m a helper. That I…”
Rainy snickered. “I know what I said. I meant, did I upset you with my words?”
“Oh. Right. No. I’m not upset,” he said. “Thinking. That’s all.”
He went to the dresser and grabbed the bottles. “I should go. Give you privacy. I’ll take care of these.”
“Please don’t,” she said abruptly. “Stay. This is our first night all together.”
“You okay? Need help?” Killion asked with concern.
