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I put the fruit down next to my feet, no longer hungry in the slightest. “What about in the forest, on the way back to the Stronghold? You knew I thought Teris was going to kick your ass.”
He nodded. “Anything I said would’ve been taken as me trying to reassure you that I was stronger than you thought. I didn’t need to convince you of anything at that point; I needed to prove myself to you. When you saw me beat Teris, I knew that you would have no choice but to accept the truth about who I was.”
“Vuvim?” I asked with a small grimace.
“To others, yes.” He dipped his head in a nod. “But not to you.”
I closed my eyes and let out a slow breath. “I was so stupid.”
His hands caught mine, and when I opened my eyes, I found him crouching in front of me, holding my fingers tightly. “No, Iloli. You were hurting, never stupid. I was giving you time, and space, preferring to be by your side as your friend rather than your fated mate.”
“Until we got back to the Stronghold,” I pointed out.
“Even then. I wouldn’t handle it well if you broke our bond or chose another male, but I still didn’t intend to ask you for more than you were ready to give. And the same is true now, too. If you still want to be just friends, we will be just friends.”
“You and I were never good at the just friend thing,” I said with a sigh.
“Sure we were. It’s been weeks since we so much as kissed.”
I lifted an eyebrow at him. “How many times did you check out my ass, or boobs? And how many times did I stare at your abs or your butt?”
“I hope these are rhetorical questions, because I haven’t been keeping count.” He dragged my hands to his chest, setting my palms there.
We still hadn’t really talked about my past.
I hadn’t explained abuse to him, though he may have figured it out.
And… I couldn’t give him what he wanted.
“I still can’t fall in love with you,” I told him quietly. “I don’t think it’s even possible for me.”
“Then I will take whatever you want to give me, and I will proudly call you mine.” His eyes were warm and steady.
For whatever it was worth, I believed him.
I just wasn’t sure that was enough.
“Even if I tell you I want us to live in separate houses? That I want space, and you can’t stalk me in the trees anymore?” I asked.
The warmth in his eyes faded slightly.
He didn’t answer right away.
“We could still share a home, as friends,” he finally said.
I heaved a sigh. “You’re still fae, Remmo. And ultimately, that means you’re still going to want a relationship with the kind of intimacy that I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready for.”
“You were ready to mate with Teris,” he countered. “You wanted the protection he could provide. I could protect you better than him, if we were to mate. And with the bond completed, my instincts would become easier to manage. I could learn to give you the space you require.”
“I don’t want to spend the rest of my life disappointing you,” I argued. “I don’t want to wake up every day, and look at you, and know that if you were with someone else, she could give you everything I can’t.”
“Then what’s the alternative, Iloli? You are my female, and the reason my heart still beats in my chest. My entire world, too. Even if I were to try, I couldn’t move on from our connection. And Irefuseto try. I will love you, regardless of your feelings for me. You have never lied to me or led me on in any way; I know what you’re willing to offer me—and I would beprivilegedto have it.”
“I don’t want you to start resenting me next month, or next week, or next year,” I argued.
“I have lived alone for centuries. How could I resent the woman that provides me companionship? You could ask any of my brothers; I am not the resentful type.”
“Unless it comes to Teris,” I pointed out.
