AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“You know,” Danielle whispers, “if you don’t want to write about the Stawarskis anymore, you can just tellher.”
“After they created a tab for the Stawarskis on the magazine homepage?” I ask, struggling to my feet. “Yeah, thanks a lot.”
Danielle merely takes my sarcasm in good cheer. “I’m just saying,” she says. “I know you like to pretend you don’t have a heart, Gigi, but I’ve literally seen you lose interest in writing about them. Maybe he’s won you over or something, he ischarming, after all. Those flowers—my housemates nearly went mad…”
“He has not wonme over,” I say through gritted teeth. The memory of what happened between us the last time I saw him comes rushing back, and I hurry out of my cubicle and past Danielle before my tear floodgates open once again.
I wipe a few away before I open the door to Hayley’s office.
“What is this article?” Hayley says the moment I step in.
Hello to you, too.
“It’s what you said you wanted,” I tell her. “You know, something about the Stawarskis. I know it’s not my finest work, but you didn’t give me much time.”
She pushes her laptop away with such force I’m surprised it doesn’t slide off the edge of her desk. “Yeah, sure,” she says. “I’m sure two weeks is just too little time.”
“I was working on several beauty articles,” I remind her.
“That I repeatedly toldyou to leave alone until you finished this!” she says, practically screaming.
The fact that I was able to make mild-mannered Hayley lose her temper and shout would have been amusing a few weeks ago.
Now, though, I feel horrible.
“I’m sorry,” I say, my voice cracking under the weight of holding back the tears.
Hayley does not notice. “And what the hell is this article?” she says. “You wrote about the Stawarskis like a fairreporter. Look at this,” she says, reaching for her laptop and squinting at the screen,“Perhaps Theodore Stawarski can be counted upon as the right candidate for congressman, if he decides to fix this huge smear on his campaign, but one can only hope.”She looks up at me. “Hello? Since when do we hopethat the Stawarskis do something good? Three months ago, you literally tried to convince me in this office to let you write criticisms of their campaign. Why on earth aren’t you criticizing them anymore?”
This time, I can't hold back the floodgates. I burst into tears, covering my face with my hands and crying uncontrollably. I attempt to compose myself, but the tears keep coming. Eventually, I surrender to the emotion and cry harder than I have in years.
Hayley's surprised gasp makes me want to punch myself even harder. She falls silent immediately and hands me a tissue. I take it and blow my nose, feeling more humiliated than I ever felt with Brandon.
“Wow,” Hayley murmurs a few minutes later when my sobs finally subside. “I didn't even know you had tear ducts.”
I start to smile, but then I feel another sob wrench itself from my throat.
I hate myself right now.
“Gigi,” Hayley says now, bounding from her desk and coming to pat me awkwardly on the shoulder. “I’m so, so sorry I upset you. Your article wasn’t bad, truly. It’s just…”
“I know,” I gasp, sounding like an emotional mother whose kid is off to kindergarten. “I’ve just been a mess lately. I have PMS.”
“Oh.” Hayley sounds relieved. “I alwayscry before my periods. I get it. The first day is pretty much a wreckage.”
I can't relate to a single word she's saying, but I nod in agreement. I'll do anything for her to not see me as a complete weakling. “Actually,” I say, suddenly desperate to leave the office, “I think I'm going to head down to the store and get some tampons. Gabrielle has probably used up my last one.”
Hayley nods quickly, and I know she’s desperate to see me leave because she has no idea what to do with me in this state. “We’ll talk about the article when you’re more…composed.Also,” she pauses, as though she’s unsure if I’d burst into tears again, “we should find you a different assignment and get someone else to write about the Stawarskis. Our new readers love your wit, but they’re going to leave if you stop writing the way you do about them.”
Relief spreads through my body. “Thank you,” I say, resisting the urge to hug her. She’d had enough of my theatrics for a whole year.
I race past Hayley's office and the cubicles, only pausing to grab my credit card. The nearest store is only a block away, so I have a moment to ponder what the hell is wrong with me during the short walk.
I hate Brandon even more now because of what he just did to me, but that's not the reason why I keep crying all the time. I'm too exhausted to hate him as much as I want to. My lackluster performance at work lately is also tear-worthy, but I know that's not the whole story either.
Then what is it? Did losing Brandon—my heart gives a little jump—cut me even deeper than I thought?
I step into the brightly lit store and make a beeline for the toiletries section. I grab a box of tampons and turn around, heading straight for the cashiers. As much as I wanted to escape from the office, being alone with my own thoughts was much harder. I don't know why I keep spontaneously bursting into tears, but I’m not sure I want to figure it out today.
