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“Georgina Harris upset me with her first article,” I continue. “She got information from me using manipulative means. Still, I was impressed by her slyness, enough to want to get to know her and figure out how she ticked. And, yes, I wanted to get her to stop attacking my brother and his campaign. I would have done anythingto get her to back down. But, along the way, something happened. I fell in love with her.”
I can see Theo’s jaw drop, but it’s nothing compared to the surpriseIfeel at letting those words out of my mouth before I’d come to terms with them myself.
But it doesn’t matter, not even that I let loose my innermost secrets to the entire New York media in mere seconds.
It doesn’t matter because it’strue.I feel no pullback or anxiety about it. I’m in love with Georgina. Maybe I’ve been in love with her since the first day she approached me at Ian’s wedding, and I’d singled her out amongst a dozen other women. And knowing she is the mother of my child makes me feel far more towards her than I’ve ever felt towards any other person in the world.
“I fell in love with her,” I say again. “Unfortunately, it didn’t quite work out. Still, Georgina Harris is a great woman, and I wish her all the best. I should mention that even during our brief affair, she was quite intent on criticizing my brother’s campaign and not backing down no matter how many times I told her to. Speaks volumes to her character as a journalist, I should say.”
The bespectacled woman looks lost for words. The cameras flash rapidly in my direction, and I almost feel enclosed in a swarm of paparazzi.
My shoulders slump. I am suddenly sick and tired of being here and answering random questions.
Theodore seems to read my thoughts. “Go,” he mutters through tightly closed lips.
I give a stiff goodbye before I turn around and walk backstage. I am relieved that Theodore had made sure his team set up a different tent to run technical from and had set up a private tent for us both. The last thing I need is pitying glances from Alex Payne and his host of imbeciles.
Finally alone, this wouldbe the perfect time to rehash everything I said and wonder if I did any damage to Theodore’s campaign with my words. It would be, ifI could remember a single word I said, or if I could get my head to stop throbbing so…
I stop right smack in the middle of the dim, supposedly empty tent.
Because I’m not alone.
Georgina is standing by one of the corners of the tent, staring at me with red-rimmed eyes.
“My co-worker Danielle called,” she mutters, answering an unspoken question. “I was supposed to cover this, but I begged off it. She told me the journalists kept asking about me, and you were sure to break soon. But…”
I nod, even though I’m barely listening. It’s hard to listen to anything when I’m hyperaware of the fact that she’s here,standing in front of me, after all this time. And this time, I don’t only see the most beautiful woman I’ve ever spotted and the journalist that drives me insane.
I see the woman I was foolish enough to fall for. The motherof my child.
“You,” she says, her voice trembling, “are in love with me?”
I stare at her, knowing I should feel upset about her asking me to repeat myself. But I’m not. The more I speak about my feelings for her, the more I can explain to myself why my world is suddenly bereft of meaning.
“How could I not?” I mutter, stepping toward her. “You’re different, Georgina. Everything about you is different. I’ve never had to try so hard to get someone to stop hurting my family. But I knew from the start that I was enjoying you putting up a fightwaymore than I should. And then, I started to enjoy you,and us, together. I damn near killed myself when the wall went up between us. And then, the baby came along and I was so happy. Not just because I get to have it with you, but because I got to spend time with youagain. You’re what I was looking for without even knowing it existed, without knowing Iwas searching for it. I want you in my life.”
I surprise myself by not feeling idiotic about my words. Every single one of them is true. But I’ve never felt this way before, and I’veneverwanted to feel this way before as well.
And yet, I do. And it’s even more foolish trying to deny it.
Georgina lets out a sound halfway between a gasp and a grunt.
I look at her and feel more surprised than I’ve ever felt in all my life.
She actually has tears in her eyes.
I’ve seen her get pregnant and lose her public reputation without shedding a tear. And now, standing in front of me, she’s in tears.
“I’m sorry,” she says, gazing up at me. “I just thought…”
“Thought what?” I say, anxiety ripping through me. I close the gap between us, standing as close to her as I can without touching her. I’d decided to leave all things Georgina in the past. I would’ve been fighting a losing battle if I let myself ponder more with her.
But now, with the tears in her eyes, I feel an emotion that I’ve hardly felt before. Orneeded to feel before.
Hope.
“I thought it would be too good to be true,” she says. “That you could actually want meforme. I got caught up dreaming about situations where we actually existed like a real family, and it just…didn’t seem right. I didn’t know you would…”
