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“I feel like I’ve been pitied my whole life. Starting with my parents.”
“You’re wrong,” he said. “I’m not going to profess to know your parents as well as you, but what I do know of them is that they are caring people. They spent their entire lives in the educational field helping others. You can’t tell me every child they helped or touched was out of pity. That’s a lot of pity in the world if you ask me.”
She frowned. Guess she never thought of it that way. “I wasn’t as confident as them,” she said.
“So? Not everyone is. Not everyone is born with it either,” he said.
“Like you,” she said.
“If what you’re saying is what you believe, then I do things to make myself feel better,” he said back.
She probably shouldn’t have said what she had, but it slipped out. Funny how he didn’t argue it though.
“I didn’t mean to insult you that way. I suppose when I think about it, people do things for others for a number of reasons. None of them are bad. Some are to make the person they are helping feel better, some is to make the person doing it feel better.”
“That’s right. But if everyone is winning, where is that an issue?”
“It isn’t one,” she said.
“And it’s not pity either. Regardless of what you think. I bet your parents would be upset if they thought you believed everything they did for you or wanted to do for you was out of pity and not out of love and caring. It was out of helping you be the best person you could be.”
Everything he was saying was the truth. Her parents would be upset over it. She knew that.
“You’re right.”
“Why haven’t you talked to them about it?” he asked. “Tell them how you feel?”
“Because when I try they cut me off. They never let me have my say. It’s as if they don’t want to upset me.”
“I have seen them do that to you. You don’t let me do it though,” he said. “You’d think you’d be stronger with your parents because they will always be there. Friends and boyfriends don’t have to stick around for it.”
She felt her face pale. “Are you going to leave me because of this?”
“God, Hadley. No! We are talking. I’m telling you that you should be sticking up for yourself with everyone. I don’t think you’ve got a mean bone in your body. And if someone walks because of it, then they don’t deserve your love. I’m trying to find a way to get you to see that without you thinking I’m pitying you too.”
“I’m sorry I’m putting us in this position to doubt things now,” she said. Her eyes were filling with tears.
“Don’t apologize. Couples fight and have to figure things out. You can’t be sorry for saying what you feel.”
“I know. I guess that has been my problem for years. I never said what I wanted to say to people. You’re the first man in my life that gives me a chance to say what I want and feel. You give me that chance before you change the topic.”
“You need to tell your parents to stop. And when they do it, you need to make sure they give you your turn. I’m sure they do it to help you. Or spare you from being upset.”
“That is it,” she said. “I know it is. I got my feelings hurt easily as a child. If I didn’t fit in I never tried. I just moved on to a group where I might fit in better.”
“That is a smart move. What most people do. Not wrong,” he said.
“That is how I felt, but then there were times I just was taken advantage of.”
“Like Eddie?” he asked. “Tell me what this phone call was about just now.”
She waited a second. “I will. But I want to make sure we are fine.”
He pulled her close to him, held her tight and then rubbed his hand on her back. She needed this right now. Not out of pity but out of support. Love. Caring.
“We are fine. And I’m glad you just said that. I’m not trying to change the topic on you either. You say what you need to. I’m done talking on my end, but you need to be done on your end and when you are, we’ll move on.”
“Thank you again for that. I think I am done. If I’m not, can I bring it back up?”
