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“With you? Very much so.” Pink tinged her cheeks as horror filled her eyes. “Oh my god. I can’t believe I actually said that.”
“It’s nothing to be embarrassed by, sweetheart. If you want to experiment with submission in the bedroom as well, I’m open to that. But if I do something you’re not comfortable with, just say ‘Yellow’ or ‘Red’ and I’ll stop. Even if we’re right in the middle of, ah,things, you can stop at any time. Understood?”
“Yes, Sir.”
‘Sir’ wasn’t at all the title he wanted to hear coming from her lips, but he forced himself to ignore the urge to correct her. He had no right to demand that she call him ‘Daddy’, not when he was deliberately holding back so much of himself from her.
“Good girl. Now, do you want to go back upstairs and watch TV until dinner is ready, or would you like to stay in here with me? I’ve got some coloring books and crayons if you’d like to stay.”
“You don’t mind if I stay?” Hope shined in her eyes, so bright it was almost painful to look at. “I won’t be bothering you?”
“Not in the least.” Rising from his chair, he crossed the room to a cabinet he hadn’t opened in over three years. Grief welled inside him, but for the first time in a very long time, there was happiness mixed with the familiar pain. Not quite enough to drown it out, but enough to give him the strength to grab the handle and open the doors.
The newer books were on the top shelf, out of reach of Little girls who were always eager to try the next shiny new thing, so he grabbed a few of those and an unopened box of crayons. “Here you go, sweetheart. There’s a table over there, or you can sit on the floor. Whichever you prefer.”
Books and crayons clutched to her chest, she looked around the room. “Can I sit here, by you?”
Despite having stood up for herself so beautifully just a few minutes ago, she was suddenly looking very uncertain. And once again it broke his fucking heart. “Of course. Just make yourself comfortable wherever you’d like.”
Grinning, she dropped to the floor, crossing her legs under her and shifting through the coloring books. When she’d selected one with what looked like different animals dressed in clothes, she placed the others aside and looked up at him. “Thank you. For listening to me. And for not treating me like I’m broken.”
“You’re welcome, sweetheart.”
With another happy smile, she went to work on her coloring book. Where some Littles would flip through until they found the picture they liked best, she started at the beginning. Returning to his chair, he watched her for a bit as she methodically picked out which color to use next and carefully colored inside the lines.
After a while, he forced himself to turn back to his computer. And said a silent prayer to whichever gods might be listening that he wasn’t making the biggest mistake of his life.
CHAPTER9
She couldn’t quite figure out exactly how she wasn’t bothering him when he kept stopping what he was doing to watch her, but she’d used up all her bravery confronting him, so now she was just doing her best to ignore him. It was difficult when she could feel his eyes on her every few minutes, but coloring helped. Picking out the colors, using them to gradually fill in small sections until the picture began to take shape in front of her, all of it was far more satisfying than she would have expected.
And relaxing. By the time she’d gotten halfway through the picture of a bird wearing a scarf and a jaunty little hat, it was as if all the stress and fear and worry had simply been drained from her muscles. Other than after her spanking earlier, it was the first time in her memory that her mind wasn’t racing with a million ‘What ifs’ and other worries.
If this was what being Little was all about, sign her up.
She made it through the first three pictures before the restlessness set in. Who knew that not being in a constant state of near panic would lead to feeling so… bored?
Sitting back on her heels, she glanced up at Dean, who was finally hard at work and focusing on whatever it was he was doing on the computer instead of on her. God, he was handsome, with all that dark hair and a jawline so sharp it looked like it could cut glass.
Maybe she should do something naughty so he would spank her again. Hehadpromised it would be on her bare bottom the next time, and she would have been lying if she’d said she wasn’t wildly curious about how that might feel.
But she didn’t really want to be in trouble. After everything he’d done for her, it wasn’t fair for her to keep distracting him and making his life even more difficult.
What she needed to do was just slip out quietly and go upstairs to watch TV or something so she wouldn’t bother him. She didn’t really feel like it, but there wasn’t much else to do in his house as far as she could tell, and she didn’t want to bug him anymore than she already—
“MaryAnn, is there something you would like to talk about, sweetheart?”
Dean’s voice jolted her out of her thought spiral, and her cheeks heated with embarrassment. “No.”
He’d turned to look at her now, his eyebrows raised in a way that clearly said he didn’t believe her. “What is Rule Number One, little girl?”
Little girl. Just that simple phrase sent a thrill racing up her spine. “Um. Be honest?”
“That’s right. And are you being honest with me right now?”
Crap. She hadn’t been trying to get in trouble, but obviously she’d landed herself there anyway. And still, she couldn’t bring herself to actually tell him what she’d been thinking about when he’d caught her. It was far too humiliating to admit she’d been weighing the pros and cons of trying to get another spanking. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Hmmm.” His expression was unreadable, at least to her. There was a glint of something in his eye that looked almost like amusement, but how could he be amused if she was being naughty? “Well, perhaps you need to go stand in that corner over there until you’re ready to talk.”
