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“She told me today she doesn’t feel like she has any connection with Everett, like she can’t bond with him. She broke down crying. It wasn’t like this with Vivi.”
“That’s normal for postpartum depression, right?”
“Yeah, but she feels so guilty about it.” She closes her eyes. “She’s not herself.”
“How worried are you? Do you think she’d hurt herself?” I ask.
She looks up at me. “Very worried, but James is watching her like a hawk. He literally has a psychologist living at the White House with her.”
“Fuck.”
Maggie sits Ian up when he finishes eating, burps him and then moves him to her other breast.
“He’s trying to keep her busy. Acupuncture. Massages. Therapy of all sorts. We did some post-partum yoga together this morning,” she says.
“Oh yeah?”
“James brought in a person. It was nice. I think Elizabeth enjoyed it too.”
“Is it too much?”
“Maybe. She wants to go to Camp David.”
I’m surprised. “Really? When?”
“Next week. She thinks a change of scene will be good. I’m thinking about going with her. If that’s okay.”
“Yeah. Of course. It will be good for both of you.”
She stretches her neck a little and says, “She wants everyone to come in two weeks since we weren’t able to get together at Christmas.”
“That sounds nice. Do you think she’s up for that?”
“She says so. I think it will be good for her.”
I just watch her while she sits Ian up again and burps him a second time. She adjusts her bra and shirt. When she finishes, she stands up and then groans.
“What’s wrong?”
She laughs. “Oh god, that yoga. It was very gentle, and I’m still going to be very sore.” She laughs. “Damn, it’s going to take so long to build my strength back.”
“You’ll get there,” I say, taking Ian.
“I’m going to walk around the block. Wanna join? I’ve worked up to three times around the block before I’m exhausted.” She straightens his changing table while she talks.
“He’s just a little over a month old, Maggie.”
“I know. I’m just itching to feel like myself again.”
My heart sinks a little. I’m not exactly sure how to take this. She’s been a little emotional and I’ve been watching for signs of problems, but she’s seemed okay. Maybe I’ve been missing something? “Like yourself?”
“Yes, Declan, like myself. My body hasn’t been my own for nearly a year, and it won’t be for a while. Everything feels foreign. My body looks and feels weird. I used to be strong, and I had a ton of endurance. I just feel weak right now.”
I walk over and put my hand on her back. “That’s a lot. Are you okay?”
She cocks her head to the side. “Yes. I’m fine.”
“Would you tell me if you weren’t?”
