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“Money. Violence. That’s as disgusting as the soda you were going to put into your body.”
“So, how did we end up on this date?” I asked.
“You told me you were vegan,” Emilia said. “And that you plan on giving away all your money and starting over with nothing. You wanted to be part of the ground. The Earth. Our world. Nothing more, nothing less. That turned me on.”
Oh… April… you did this on purpose…
“I said that,” I said. “Wow.”
“I think it’s honorable,” Emilia said. “I understand tonight you may want to sip deathly alcohol or that poisonous soda, but do not fall into temptation. Think about the animals out there!”
Emilia stood up and pointed to the ocean.
She then opened her left hand as though she were holding a door shut.
With her right hand she reached for her bag and took out a blue gem.
“I can feel the pain from the ocean,” she said. “The animals suffering because of us. We will save them! We won’t let them hurt any longer!”
So I shouldn’t order the lobster then?
After that came our glasses of water.
Boring water.
Lemons weren’t even a thing to Emilia because they weren’t from organic and sustainable soil.
Then it came time to order dinner.
Emilia spouted off a whole bunch of types of lettuce I really never heard of before.
Nothing was organic and each time the waitress clarified the food was not organic, Emilia side eyed me as though I had gotten her mother pregnant.
When it was my turn to order…
“The biggest cheeseburger you’ve got,” I said. “And load it up with everything.”
Emilia clutched at her chest. “This is a joke, right?”
“I can’t just eat lettuce,” I said to her. “Look at me. I need to eat food.”
“Where’s the tofu?” Emilia asked.
“We don’t have tofu,” the waitress said.
“This place is just plain cruel then,” Emilia said. “This place is part of the problem!”
That’s when I stood up.
I passed Emilia my glass of water.
I took out a twenty and slipped it to the waitress.
I apologized for Emilia.
As I walked away, Emilia ran to the railing and called for me.
“Don’t let the temptation get to you! We can be together and save the world! I fell in love with you through your messages!”
