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“Really?” I asked.
“I think we need to talk about everything,” Steph said. “They agree too.”
“We do,” Poppy said.
“A lot,” Katie said.
“What is there to talk about? Huh?”
“Everything,” Steph said. “You took off from here and ended up with your brother’s best friend. Which I realize now was never just a crush at all. You were like really in love with him.”
“I don’t need to recap my life right now,” I said.
“We do,” Poppy shouted. “You could have gotten hurt. Or… worse…”
She was suddenly in my face.
Almost nose to nose.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” Poppy asked.
“Just didn’t want to,” I said. “I was ashamed. Scared. Confused.”
“She didn’t do anything wrong,” Katie said. “She protected herself.”
“Then she had someone else protect her too,” Steph said. “Now what?”
“What do you think happened?” I snapped. “Huh? Because I’ll explain it clearly. I think I fucked things up big time with Seb. I showed up to his place with this small voice in my head demanding I have him protect me. I never told him a thing about Kevin. There were times when it slipped my mind because it felt so right to be with Seb. Then Kevin would text and try to scare me. Seb felt I used him. Which maybe I did. I don’t know. I haven’t really thought it all out yet. It’s a lot to unpack.”
“So bury yourself in nonsense work,” Steph said. “They don’t care about you outside this door. The proof is what you did for them…”
“Yeah, fuck this place,” Poppy said. “Honestly. You took that job and they did nothing for you.”
“I didn’t finish the job,” I said.
“That lady was a nutcase,” Katie said.
“I took the job for one reason,” I said.
“There it is,” Steph said. “Admitting it. Good. Keep it going.”
“That’s what this is then? Like an intervention for my feelings?”
“You’re hurt,” Poppy said. “And it sucks to see.”
“Yet it makes no sense,” Katie said. “No offense. Because the guy loves you. Right? You said so yourself. Sebastian or Seb or whatever we’re allowed to call him… he loves you.”
I swallowed hard.
“You can’t just talk to him, can you?” Steph asked. “What’s holding you back? The truth? Afraid of…”
“He’s the one who left,” I said. “He’s the one who got mad. I had so many fantasies about Seb. For my entire life. Okay? I’m talking…”
I shook my head.
“Talk to us,” Poppy said. She grabbed my hand. “Please.”
“There was one time I actually put a pillow under my shirt and pretended I was pregnant. I pretended that Seb was away playing hockey and I was taking care of our house. Okay?”
