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‘That,’ he said, ‘had not escaped my attention.’
She said swiftly, ‘If you’re thinking of Carrie’s birthday party, then you’re so wrong. I was over him long, long before that.’
‘Then why go to meet him?’
‘Because he said—he made me think Carrie would be there too. I’d never have gone otherwise.’ She bent her head. ‘I know how it must have looked.’
He said, ‘I didn’t give you much chance to explain. But why didn’t you tell me what was going on that evening when I arrived at the flat and found him with you?’
She sighed. ‘Because I could have been opening Pandora’s box. The consequences might have been awful. Besides, Simon kept insisting it was all over between them, that he’d learned his lesson and it was only Carrie that he wanted. And I—I wanted so badly to believe that. Because I couldn’t convince myself that she’d be happier without him. Better off, maybe—probably—but not happier. So,’ she added unhappily, ‘I took the coward’s way out and hoped it would all simply go away—that no one else need ever know.’
His brows rose. ‘So you were trying to keep the peace? Is that it?’
‘No,’ she said. ‘I can’t even claim that.’ She took a breath. ‘The fact is—I was frightened. I can make all the excuses in the world, but that’s what it comes down to in the end. I told myself that if I said nothing I’d be protecting Carrie, saving her from this terrible hurt, when all the time I didn’t want to be the one to tell her.’
She looked down at the table. ‘In the old days they used to kill messengers who brought bad news, and I was scared that I’d lose her too—lose our precious friendship. For so long it was all I had, and I was afraid that she’d never forgive me if I was the one to destroy her illusions about Simon and break her heart.’
He said, ‘That’s not such a bad reason. Except, of course, it didn’t all go away.’
‘No,’ she said. ‘Donna had come back that night to tell me she was pregnant, and Simon wanted her to have an abortion. She was going to pieces right there in front of me, so I could hardly throw her out. She had her own place, but she virtually moved back in with me, just weeping hysterically and refusing to eat or get dressed half the time. She kept her key too, and must have had it copied for Simon—though I didn’t realise that until too late.’
She added flatly, ‘I don’t think they ever really stopped seeing each other. Not even when he was accusing her of deliberately getting pregnant because she knew he was going to finish with her, and she was threatening to take an overdose or cut her wrists if anyone mentioned termination. Eventually she calmed down enough to make an appointment at a clinic, but she told Simon she’d only go through with it if I went with her. He’s been hassling me over that ever since. Or until yesterday, anyway.’
She frowned. ‘I haven’t actually seen Donna since the night Simon stayed at the flat, so I don’t know her current stance. And in spite of everything I haven’t been able to lose all sympathy with her.’
He said, ‘Then you must have the patience of a saint.’
‘No.’ She looked out to sea. ‘It—it’s not—it can’t be easy to accept that you’re never going to have the one man who means everything to you. And I think she did fall for him very badly, and believed that he loved her too.’
‘A little naïve,’ he commented.
‘Yes.’ Rhianna was silent for a moment. She added reluctantly, ‘Although Simon did claim originally that she’d targeted him, and made all the running.’
‘Hardly a reliable authority,’ he said unsmilingly.
‘No, but plausible—and it made me wonder. Because Rob, who’s usually kindness itself to newcomers on the cast, avoided her like the plague. And when he heard she was moving into the flat he told me that she was a damned sight older than her age, and infinitely more streetwise, and warned me to be careful.’
‘What I still need to know,’ Diaz said slowly, ‘is why you let me think you were the one involved with that two-timing bastard?’
‘Because it seemed the one way to guarantee you wouldn’t tell Carrie either.’ She met his gaze. ‘I couldn’t believe you’d cause her more suffering by letting her know she’d been betrayed not just by Simon but by her best friend too. I was certain that her peace of mind would be far more important to you than your contempt for me. It was more important to me too.’
