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‘But you stood there,’ he said, ‘and you let me say those foul, unforgivable things to you.’
‘Because I was involved in it.’ She spread her hands almost helplessly. ‘I couldn’t deny that. And I hadn’t been able to do a thing to stop it. I couldn’t even pretend that it was just one of those things that happens when people have had too much to drink.’
He lifted a hand and smoothed a strand of hair back from her face. ‘About which you know so much, of course,’ he said, his voice caught between tenderness and amusement.
‘I don’t think I know very much at all,’ she said, as her pulses leapt in unbidden, dangerous delight. ‘About anyone or anything. I’m better with someone else’s script.’ She paused. ‘Would you have kept quiet—to spare her feelings—if I’d told you the truth? I felt I couldn’t take the risk—especially when you were so angry.’
‘No,’ he said quietly. ‘Probably not.’
‘Well, then,’ she said. ‘Maybe it’s all turned out for the best.’
‘I wish I shared your optimism,’ he returned drily. ‘Whatever, it’s too late now. They’ll be off on their honeymoon.’
He reached across, and took her hand, playing gently with her fingers. ‘So—do you forgive me?’
‘For saying what you did?’ She was embarrassed to hear the sudden quiver in her voice that his touch had engendered. ‘Of course. In some ways I deserved it.’
Diaz shook his head, smiling faintly. ‘Not just that.’
‘Oh,’ she said, trying to ignore the dismaying fact that she was also blushing. ‘You mean that.’
‘Indeed I do,’ he agreed.
Rhianna tried unsuccessfully to free her hand. ‘Couldn’t we simply forget it ever happened?’
‘Not a chance,’ he said. ‘Because I don’t want to forget.’ He added drily, ‘Nor do I wish you to have that as your abiding memory of me as a lover.’
She was trembling inside. ‘Please don’t say things like that.’
‘That sounds ominous.’ He sent her a searching look, then raised her hand to his lips, kissing her fingertips very gently. ‘Has our recent encounter put you off for life? I do hope not.’
‘No. I mean—I don’t know.’ She was stumbling now, and Lady Ariadne’s glamorous self-possession had never seemed further away. ‘But I—I must have been a terrible disappointment.’
‘No, my sweet,’ Diaz said, and smiled at her. ‘Believe me, that couldn’t be further from the truth. My sole regret is that I didn’t know it was your first time, or I would have dealt with the matter rather differently.’
‘Oh,’ she said, wondering how, and knowing she could never ask.
She rallied. ‘Anyway, it’s all over now, and in a few hours we’ll be in Spain and I’ll be leaving. So maybe what happened is all for the best too.’
His smile widened into a reluctant grin. ‘Not from my point of view, darling. Nor, I’d have said, from yours. However,’ he went on, more gently, ‘if you give me the chance, I think I can guarantee you more enjoyment next time.’
Hunger for him—for the intimate riches he was offering—clenched like a fist inside her.
But at the same time she knew it would be infinitely safer to starve. Because all he was proposing was a consummation—the satisfaction of a mutual desire.
And she wanted all of him. For ever. It was that simple. And that impossible.
Was this how Donna wanted Simon? she wondered, and realised why, in spite of everything, she’d found herself pitying the girl who’d given everything to a man she adored and watched him take it and walk away.
Because Diaz would be no different, she told herself. He had no choice in the matter. They were who they were. His father’s son, her mother’s daughter. Nothing could alter that.
But at least he’d been honourable enough not to pretend, or to make promises he wasn’t prepared to keep.
He might want me, she thought, but he’s never mentioned love.
He said he wanted to wipe Simon from my mind for ever and erase his own need for me at the same time. And maybe he can do that. But I—I can’t. I might not have known it then, when I was in his arms, but I do now.
And when I told myself it was enough—that I would make it enough—I was lying. I can’t let myself be chained to him for the rest of my life by the memory of a night’s pleasure.
I need to save myself. Somehow.
She released her hand from his clasp and sat back. ‘I don’t think so,’ she said, her answering smile polite, even faintly regretful. ‘But thank you, anyway. Because you’ve helped me to achieve what I wanted. Some uncommitted experience, without any untidy emotions in the way.’
