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I knew and that was why I stayed awake all night, trying to figure out how the fuck I felt. How I could possibly love another man, ever, never mind this soon.
In those moments before the sun’s rays colored the sky, I slid from the bed and got dressed, Emmett’s scent still stuck to my skin, and I crept from the bedroom and down the overwhelming staircase that led to the first floor of Ashby Manor.
“I hope you know what you’re doing.” Sadie’s voice came from my left side, just outside the front door. She was wrapped in a silk robe, a cigarette perched between her lips, and a knowing look on her face.
“So do I, Sadie. So do I.” The truth was, I had no fucking clue what I was doing or how I felt about any of it. And Emmett deserved certainty, deserved to be with someone who had her shit together.
That wasn’t me, not now, and I needed to figure it out before I broke the heart of man who deserved nothing but love.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Emmett
“Remain still, sir.” The older man with silver hair and thick black brows frowned up at me for the third time in the past five minutes.
A fancy ass tuxedo shop was the last place I expected to be when I woke up, alone for the third morning in a row. Maisie had made last minute changes to the wedding party and somehow, it affected me.
“Sorry,” I mumbled and willed my body to stop squirming. I couldn’t help it; my body was as restless as my mind. Had my words of love sent Vanessa running away when danger lurked every fucking where? That thought churned in my gut, which only pissed me off. Did she leave because I told her I loved her or because she wasn’t ready to say it back?
Or, the one thought I couldn’t seem to shake, that she left because she didn’t love me and never would.
“Try to relax man; he’s just taking your measurements.” Virgil laughed from his spot on the black velvet couch since his tux had already been altered and sat in a garment bag ready for his wedding day.
“Didn’t you spend all kinds of naked time with other dudes in the Army?”
I flipped him off. “It was war, asshole, not a fucking porno.”
Those words only made them all, Jasper, Charlie, Virgil and my own damn brother, laugh harder.
“Probably thoughts of Vanessa making it hard not to get hard with Sean’s hands between his legs.” Terry was always the funny guy.
Virgil stood as soon as the old man, Sean, had nodded he was done with my measurements and clapped me on the back.
“I really appreciate you agreeing to be in the wedding so late in the game, man. Maisie wanted to make sure Madison felt included, which meant another groomsman since Cal still has his head up his fucking ass.”
“No problem, man. Happy to be part of the day.” It was true. Now that I’d stopped fighting who I was, I was more than happy to make my family happy.
“I can talk to Maze about letting you walk with Vanessa if you want?”
That was probably the last thing she wanted. “Nah, I’m good. Madison is a spitfire and always good for a few laughs.”
“You sure?” I nodded even though I wasn’t sure of anything, other than the fact that the woman I loved was avoiding me. Maybe, permanently.
Forty-five minutes later, Terry, Jasper and Virgil walked out with their suits while Charlie and I had to come back next week for final fittings.
“Is all that really necessary for a tuxedo?” Charlie shook his head in disbelief as we all piled into the stretch limo that took us back to Midnight Mass.
“Fuck no,” Virgil growled, “but if Maisie wants us to look like fucking James Bond, then we look like James Bond.” The look of love shining in his eyes was undeniable, and I envied that look. It wasn’t just the look, it was the way he freely talked about his love for her, making sure she knew she was loved. Hell, we all knew how loved she was.
“And if she wants babies?” Jasper sent an amused look at Virgil from the other side of the limo.
Virgil shrugged. “Then we toss out the pills and fuck even more. It’s a win-win for me.”
Terry bumped Jasper with his shoulder, a mischievous grin on his face. “How come you didn’t ask me that?”
Jasper shoved him away playfully. “Because I don’t want to think about you raw dogging my baby sister.”
Charlie laughed and shook his head. “Well, Maisie is my cousin.”
“Then don’t ask Virgil about his sex life,” Jasper growled, proof that he was okay with the relationship but not hearing about it. “Now I need some booze to wash the images out of my mind.”
