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I pull out my phone and finally send a text to Victoria.
Atlas: I’m sorry. Can we talk?
She responds almost immediately, giving me a little bit more hope than I had a few seconds ago.
Victoria: Okay, when?
Atlas: Now? I could come over if that’s okay.
Victoria: Okay, see you in half an hour.
I jam the car into gear and peel away from the curb before I remember there are pizzas in the trunk of the car, and I was supposed to do something about them. Right, as in, I was supposed to have dinner with my family and apologize for being the worst member of the family by a mile.
I pull over and quickly punch in a text to Granny, telling her that Victoria knows I’m a bullshitter, and now I have to make things right with her, too, so I’m going to be late with the pizzas. I tell her that I’m sorry, then I switch off my phone.
I’m not worried about her tracking me since she knows exactly where I’m going. I just don’t need any distractions right now because I need to think. I need to figure out the best way to try not to lose Victoria, which I would totally deserve after what I did, all while also trying to keep her safe.
The drive to her place is hell, and it provides me with absolutely zero answers.
The pizzas are totally forgotten, even though the whole car smells like dough, cheese, meat, and green peppers because, damn, they came on strong after a few miles, and I hastily rush to the front door.
Victoria is waiting, and she steps out onto the porch with her arms crossed. She doesn’t look angry, which is honestly even more frightening. The hard set of her jaw and her blank eyes frighten me. She won’t even let me into her house. Instead, she wraps her arms around herself in the bright red sundress she has on and waits. She waits stoically, even when the wind blows a strand of hair right between her lips. I want to brush it back, but I don’t dare. I’ve lost the right to hair brushing, tender gestures, sweet, intimate moments, and all other privileges.
“I can explain,” I say roughly, starting with the hugest idiot line in the books. This is what every true asshat says when their asshattery is revealed to the harsh light of day, I’m sure. “I was enraptured by your voice the day you called the shop. We were freshly open, and we were all so bored without any actual work to do because we didn’t have any clients. Then, you called the shop, and I know I should have set you straight, but I was bored, and your…your voice. It was so pretty and so, so magical. I didn’t know what it was, but I wanted to meet you, to see what you looked like in person, and to put a face to the prettiest voice I’d ever heard in my life. I did plan on telling you that there was a mistake once we met and then leaving it at that.”
Her eyes flare with anger, and shit, I’m obviously doing a shitty shit job over here. Yeah, I guess what I just said sounds pretty imbecilic now that I think about it.
“Then, I got here, and I saw you, and I was freaking blindsided. I was completely smitten. Attraction at first sight, obviously, but there was something more. I felt like there was a string wrapped around my heart and soul, tugging me to you. I just wanted a few more minutes, a few more hours. And I kept wanting those minutes, those hours, those days. I wanted to help you when I saw the house because no one should have to live in a place like that. I had the means to do it, and I knew you wouldn’t accept the help otherwise. It was a split-second decision, letting you believe I was a homebuilder, and it was a bad decision. Believe it or not, I’m not usually known for making that many bad ones, and I never meant to lie to you. I wanted to tell you. And I was going to. I just couldn’t really figure out how or when to do it.”
“Sometime before you deflowered me would have been nice.”
Just like that, she gobsmacked me. Shy little Victoria literally just said deflowered. In my defense, I didn’t know about that! Right, try that. Put that out there and see how that sounds, fuckwad. I have zero to say to that. A whole lot of nothing. What exactly does one rebound with after that?
“I’m an asshole,” I admit. “Through and through. I never meant to hurt you. I really was trying to help, and I seriously never meant to hurt you. I wanted to take you on a date. That was it. I just…I thought if I asked you right then after explaining there was a mistake, you would see me as some creep, and you’d never let me help you out of the situation you were in. I would have been some crazy dude who fell hard and fast for a stranger without explanation, and that truly is just craziness. Now that I’m saying it, it sounds even worse.” I take a deep breath as she stands there, staring a hole through me. All her sweetness is gone, and she’s now as tough as Ayana’s biker dad. Ayana is my brother Ransom’s girlfriend. “I’m sorry I lied to you. Incredibly. Sorry.”
