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The nights when I’m on missions are some of the loneliest times of my life. I have nothing to distract myself with. It doesn’t matter how exhausted I am or how much I push my body physically and mentally, sleep never comes easily for me.
My memories were always there.
The bad ones always outweighed the good.
There were times when I couldn’t shake them off as much as I tried to. They wouldn’t let me go, strangling me until I couldn’t fucking breathe. Like a noose around my neck, sucking the life right out of me.
Sometimes I welcomed that feeling.
At least then I knew I was still fucking alive.
Ever since you came into my life, I find myself looking forward to a future with you both. No amount of training could have prepared me for the things I’d seen and done. My kill or be killed mentality has left me alone with only my thoughts and memories.
Because the truth is…
I’m falling in love with you and your baby, and I know you feel the same.
With all my love,
Sincerely, Jace
Eighteen
Cove
Now: Two days later
To say I was annoyed with the past forty-eight hours would be an understatement. We’d been playing newlyweds all over the island. From one end to the other, we pretended to be in love. To an outsider looking in, we were happily married, but as soon as we were behind closed doors, Jace barely talked to me.
Despite us sleeping in the same bed, he hadn’t touched me since the night of the sex party. Not that I didn’t want him to.
One thing was for sure, Jace didn’t sleep much. The man seemed to survive on two, maybe three hours a night. When he finally would lay down, his sleep was restless. He’d toss and turn most of the time, and I desperately wanted to know what he was dreaming about. I yearned to know what haunted him even in his slumber.
It didn’t matter how much I wanted him to open up to me, I knew he wouldn’t. He refused to let me in, and I began to wonder if he ever would or if this was forever our dynamic.
What would happen after we went back home? Were we just supposed to pretend this never happened? Had my parents noticed I was gone? Were they searching for me? Was anyone?
Haven was still overseas with her boyfriend, and we weren’t talking much before this happened. She was enjoying her time with him, and I didn’t want to interrupt them. I understood they needed this time to reconnect with each other, and I was happy they had that opportunity.
I didn’t have my cell phone, so I didn’t know if my parents were trying to reach me. Although, that was pretty far-fetched. They had always lived their own life. I wouldn’t be surprised if they even noticed I was gone, which made me sad.
I truly didn’t have anyone who loved or cared about me other than my best friend. If she knew I’d technically been kidnapped, she’d be searching hell and high water for me. That much I was sure of.
Jace’s family certainly didn’t know about his double life. I figured no one knew the man behind the uniform, and that made me so unbelievably sad for him. I knew what it felt like to be alone. If I didn’t have Haven or his family, I’d be very lonely on the daily, but it didn’t matter how much I had Haven’s friendship, I longed for my parents.
Jace came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. “Have I told you how beautiful you look in that dress?”
I smiled, leaning against the railing at the Coco Beach Club.
“You haven’t, but I’m sure you could make it up to me somehow.”
Everywhere we went, it felt as if all eyes were on us. I couldn’t tell if it was his enemies, or we just looked good together and brought attention to ourselves. It was difficult to tell the difference.
Jace played his part of the loving, affectionate husband like he was born for the role. He was attentive, doting, and always had his hands on me in one way or another. Even when we were eating, his hand would be on my lap or his arm around my chair.
This French island had thirty-seven beaches, and we’d probably visited half of them, playing the part of being madly in love the entire time. We’d gone everywhere—the casino where he won a couple of thousand dollars playing poker, the day pool parties where Jace really wouldn’t keep his hands off me since I was wearing a bikini, the nightclubs, and eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner at the most breathtaking restaurants.
There wasn’t anything that Jace Beckham wasn’t good at. The man was as gifted as he was charming. The way women stumbled over their words when they were talking to him or how they couldn’t take their eyes off him when he walked into any room.
