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“I wanted Miles here so you’d believe me. He saw them too. He heard what they said.”
“And what did they say?” Mom asks, her voice cold.
Miles keeps glancing at me. I can feel his gaze burning an imprint on my skin, willing me to look at him and own up to the lies I’m telling.
We had a deal, I imagine him growling in his throaty voice.
“That Graham and Dad used to take drugs together. They said that Graham and Dad weremorethan junkies, but they wouldn’t say what.”
My belly warbles as I remember how intense Miles became, ready to dismantle those men.
Noah takes Mom’s hands.
“It’s okay,” he whispers. “She deserves to know.”
With a groan, Mom says, “Layla, your father and Graham were involved romantically.”
I gasp. That’s the last thing I expected.“What?”
“Your father was bisexual.” Mom’s voice becomes distant, like she has to put some space between herself and her words. A survival mechanism. “He didn’t just cheat on me with women. He cheated with Graham, too. In fact, Graham was his most serious relationship. Graham thought they were going to get married one day.”
I lean back and close my eyes for a moment. Afterward, I say, “So why did Graham hire me?”
Mom looks down at the table, her hand clasping Noah’s, their wedding rings glinting in the morning sun. Even now, I ache to feel the cool press of metal against my ring finger, a sign that I belong to my step-uncle and always will.
“I asked him to,” Mom says. “You were having trouble finding a job. It’s so competitive these days. You deserve to follow your dream. So, I asked, and he gave you the job, but I didn’t know he would behave so horribly toward you.”
I jump to my feet. I’ve got no right to be mad. Not with all the secrets I’m hiding. I raise my voice, anyway. I’m almost yelling.
“So, I’ve been working for Dad’s boyfriend all this time? No wonder Graham hates me. Every time he looks at me, he probably remembers what he lost. Remembering the life he could’ve had. Jesus, Mom. How could you do that?”
As the words leave my mouth, I want to snatch them back.
“I get it,” I say before she can respond. I drop into the chair. “Sometimes, we do things we shouldn’t, but it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. It doesn’t mean I don’t love you anymore.”
She narrows her eyes. “Have you got a split personality now, Layla? That was quite the shift.”
Her voice has a shade of banter, as though she’s ready to forget this quickly.
“You know me. Hot one second, cold the next.”
This is complete nonsense. I might as well sayla la la la, for all the meaning it has. I’m not known for being hot then cold, but I can’t let this rage out either, the sense of betrayal that Mom would go behind my back.
The doubt slithers in and poisons my mind. What if I’m not good enough to be there? What if he’s only tolerating me because Mom asked him to?
“He says you’re doing an amazing job.” Mom looks closely at me as though reading my mind. “He rides you hard because he knows you can do well. He’s an ass. He always has been.”
“I don’t understand. How often do you talk?”
“Not often,” Mom says. “Once every couple of weeks since you started. It’s mostly just me telling him to go easier on you.”
“Mostly?”
She swallows, glancing at Noah. “Sometimes, we’ll talk about your father.”
“I get it,” Noah replies. “Things ended terribly, but you still loved him. You don’t have to feel guilty.”
Already, my mind is ticking away. So, Mom and Graham speak, meaningif Graham learns what Miles said in the restaurant, he could tell Mom about it.
