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Nix spoke, “I told him that he’s staying with us.”
“Fucking good because… that’s our deal, right?”
“Right,” Lyle growled back.
“You’re fucking staying Lyle, and do you know what, we’re staying with you. Every night, all of us, all in one bed, Lyle. Nix and me, you and Penny. And we’re going to be fucking, Lyle,” Ash continued, wrestling himself out of his T-shirt and jeans. This is what he did when he got nervous that something was going to be snatched away from him, he babbled. Endlessly saying again and again what he wanted, spinning it out almost to convince himself that it would all be okay. This is what he’d done when Nix had tried to pull away from him in prison. But Ash always got his way.
He looked at Nix. Nix silently nodded back. Ash looked to Penny, who was now down to her underwear. She blinked a slow blink of agreement back at him. Strong little Vixen. The way she bit her lip told Ash this wasn’t quite what she’d signed up for, but fuck it, she was here now and she was strong. Fine, they were all in. They were all doing this.
“You may be a fucking drunk, Lyle, but you are our fucking drunk and we fight for you til the end, got it? Even against yourself if we have to.”
Lyle looked away.
Ash frowned. “Speaking of, why were you two fighting?”
Lyle nodded to one wooden chair, currently balancing a closed can of paint on the seat. “Winner gets to sit and be fucked by Penny in the chair.”
Ash looked at the chair, he looked back to Penny.
“And the loser?” she asked, clear as a bell, going straight to Lyle. Wearing just flesh colored thigh high stockings and peachy silk underwear. Ash felt his cock stirring. She was very aware of what she did to all three of them, and she was flaunting it now. Working it to break the tension, yes, as a fellow peacemaker, Ash could see what she was doing. But fuck, she owned it and used it. Ash liked seeing her like this, fucking good for her. She ran a hand through Nix’s hair, who purred like a cat under her touch, and kissed Lyle, open mouthed. Ash also liked seeing Nix being petted like that. Like he was a harmless Golden Retriever, all happy and dopey. Ash felt proud of the house training he’d put in, the battle of taming Nix when they were in prison together. But really, it had come from Nix himself. He’d wanted to be loved so badly, he’d melted from an icy thug Doberman to a harmless silly Pomeranian.
“Loser gets the creaky as shit step ladder,” Nix husked out, his eyes closed, her hand still in his hair.
Ash raised an eyebrow and smirked. “Is that the deal, huh?”
Penny peeled away and perched on the top step of the ladder, resting her elbows on her knees and smiling playfully. Her clear voice filled the small void between them all. “Well then, boys, ready, set, fight!”
Penny turned over in bed for what felt like the millionth time that night. She tried not to huff with frustration. The others breathed gently and deeply next to her. Lyle, behind her now, on his side, his arm flung over her. Nix and Ash, messily tangled together a foot away, arms and legs and the sleek, subtle curves of lean male flesh.
It had been a tense evening. The MC had voted on whether Lyle should stay or not. It had been a unanimous yes, everyone voted for him to stay. Penny didn’t know how many arms Ash had had to twist to get the vote to fall that way. She couldn’t imagine any of the MC members would tolerate being swayed to vote one way or another. Penny tried to imagine asking Phantom, she gulped. She tried imagining asking Rita, Penny could only laugh imagining that scenario.
She stared at the ceiling. The darkness yawned back. She had to get up, she couldn’t just lay around in bed for hours. She’d wake the others up, they’d get grumpy. Nix and Ash were working all crazy hours at the moment. She sat up and peered down at them, Ash propped up on Nix’s beautiful chest. She wanted to ruffle their hair slightly, move a wisp of Nix’s hair that flopped into his face. She did. She looked down at Lyle on her other side. He seemed to frown in his sleep, so serious, the weight of the world on him. She reached forward and lightly grazed her knuckles along his stubbly chin. She was filled with a calm sense of tenderness. It felt like the whole world was asleep and she had this moment of night to herself. This peaceful, quiet moment. She slipped out of bed, pushing herself down to the foot of it, so she didn’t have to climb over any of the men. Her men.
She bit her lip and looked back at the bed. Without her there, there was no way Lyle would have found himself in a bed with Nix and Ash. And yet, here they all were. She could hardly believe it herself. There was no way she would have found herself in bed with one biker, let alone three. She didn’t know whether to smirk or shake her head. What was she doing? What would her mother think of this? Her friends? If they truly knew? They knew about the divorce, they pitied her. She showed up at her expensive spa and she knew they were all talking about her. She had already vowed not to care. She wanted to have a baby, and they would gossip. Yes, she was planning on being open about the fact the baby would be a sperm donor baby. She was going to just be honest, it wasn’t going to be a shameful secret that people would gossip over. She’d decided if she was just open and honest, then no one could hang it over her head. Declare it and celebrate it. A modern woman, doing it without a man. She had the money to provide, she’d be fine. She’d be a success. And she’d have a beautiful little baby and a future and a whole new world to explore. A whole new life to live.
This wasn’t what she expected. She wasn’t doing it without a man. She was doing it with three men. But here she was. And she was happy. More than happy. She felt almost… dizzy.
She stood, feeling hot, restless. Her pajamas felt uncomfortable, she felt too wired to settle. Her body felt like it was pulsing, like she’d run a long way, or just emerged from a sauna. A natural high ticking through her veins. She went into the bathroom, not turning the light on, and caught a glimpse of the moon outside. The beautiful, untouchable, ever-present moon. It was a crescent moon, halfway through its cycle of waxing and waning. She blinked. Speaking of cycles… she had a quick think. She’d first come to the MC… about two weeks ago. And she’d been mid cycle, just about to ovulate. She’d taken an ovulation test at home, which had been positive. That’s why she had chosen that night to come. That’s why she’d been initially disappointed when Lyle had had to be carried out for stitches. She had thought it was a wasted opportunity. But then Nix had stepped up, and then Ash… She rubbed her palm against her forehead. And then in the nights that had followed… it had all become a bit of a haze. She’d slept here at the MC every night. In all of their rooms. With Lyle that second night, then Ash had joined, then Nix… then the next night she’d come back and they’d all rendezvoused in Ash’s bedroom. Then had all come in to surprise Nix when he finished his shift. She smiled.
She’d snuck home after finishing work to grab new clothes and toiletries. She’d brought a box of tampons, knowing that in a few days she’d start her period. She’d had an overnight bag but her stuff was scattered between all of their bedrooms. Her tampons weren’t here in this bedroom. Wait, who’s room were they in? It didn’t help that all the bedrooms looked the same. There was a white toweling robe on the back of the bathroom door. She slipped it on, even though she had felt too hot moments before. Her skin felt the slightly stiff material graze her arms as she scooped it up her body. She rucked the sleeves up and moved over to the sink. She splashed water on her face, looking at her reflection in the moonlight. Her skin looked pale, but she looked wide awake. The water felt cool against her skin. Not too cold and so smooth. She should have started her period by now.
She patted her face into a fluffy gray towel hanging on the rack, pressing the soft, fresh cotton against her, as her mind raced.
“Trouble sleeping?” a voice cut through her reverie, startling her gently.
She peeled the towel off her face. Lyle stood there. He’d pulled on some briefs but was otherwise all bulky man-flesh and black hair. He put one hand into his hair and raked it back, his other hand came onto her shoulder, and he came to stand slightly behind and beside her. He planted a kiss on her cheek. Joining her in looking at the reflection in the mirror in front of them both now.
How did they look together, as a couple? They looked good, she thought. Different. He looked older, grizzled, and like he’d certainly lived life. She knew she didn’t look like the kind of lady to be with a guy like Lyle. She looked like the lady who would be with a man like her ex-husband, a successful businessman, polished, professional. Despite hanging around with bikers for the last two weeks, she still had that outsider sheen to her. She knew they looked unconventional together. Striking. Beautiful. People would do a double take when seeing them. And she would want them to. They’d see her, blonde hair curled, nails done, dressed in this season’s designer trends. And him, hair not even brushed, clothes not pressed, not even last decade’s fashion trends. Mud on his boots, worn jeans, unshaved and unkempt.
She thought they looked perfect together.
She let the towel fall out of her hands and smiled, suddenly bashful. Lyle looked like a rugged model in the moonlight. He was looking better than he had a few weeks ago. Less run down. A few weeks ago… she gulped.
“I couldn’t get to sleep, couldn’t relax, maybe I ate too much for dinner, or…” she trailed off, her mouth feeling dry suddenly.
Lyle was watching her closely. Intimately. Tenderness in his impenetrable eyes. She blinked. How was it possible to be looking at the same man who had blacked out drunk and had night terrors not long ago? Active addiction was a terrifying, transformative thing. Lyle was kind, generous, thoughtful and giving. Lyle was also moody, selfish, and closed off. It just depended on how much he drank. And that wouldn’t go away any time soon. Penny knew she couldn’t change him, she couldn’t fix him. Nagging him and arguing with him and repeating herself over and over would get them nowhere. He’d have to want to change out of active addiction for himself. He’d have to make that move. She could stand beside him while he propped himself up at the bar swigging his not-beer from the beer bottle. She could lie beside him at night and hold him when he was tossing and turning and thrashing about in his sleep. She could bring him water and a pain killer in the morning when he was placated and calm. And call on Ash and Nix to lend a stronger hand when Penny couldn’t carry him, in all the ways he needed carrying.
“Or?” Lyle prompted, tilting his head to the side, planting his lips on her neck softly. “Or what else could it be, Penny?”
