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She’s breathing heavily. I can see in her eyes that she doesn’t fully believe me yet.
But she will.
I’ll show her until there’s no denying the truth of it.
“I said some really awful things to you in the hospital room that day—”
She holds up a hand to stop me. “Don’t.”
“No,” I insist. “You need to hear this. I didn’t say any of those things because I believed them. I just wanted to hurt you. I wanted to hurt you the way I thought you had hurt me.”
“You really believed I was conspiring with Anthony to bring you down?”
“At the time, yes.”
“You should have known better.”
“I should have,” I agree. “But the thing is, I couldn’t trust my instincts around you because my feelings were getting in the way of every decision I made. I assumed you had hoodwinked me. I couldn’t see it because I was so—”
I stop short, still held back by the power of those words. Saying it once doesn’t make it easier to say again.
“You were in love with me,” she says softly, putting her palm against my beating heart.
“Yes.”
She places her forehead against my chest and stays there for the longest time. Finally, she lifts her head and looks into my eyes. “How do I know you’re not going to freak out on me again?”
“I can’t promise you that I won’t,” I admit. “This is the first time I’ve ever felt this way about a woman. I’m pretty sure it will be my last, too. So you’ll have to forgive me while I work out the kinks.”
She smiles, but it’s reserved. She wants to dive in head-first, but she’s cautious.
“I know this will be trial and error for a while, Misha,” she says. “But we can’t escape the fact that we have two children on the way. Whatever our issues are, we can’t let it affect them. I want them to grow up in a healthy environment. I want them to be happy and safe and loved. I want them to have what I never did.”
“I know. I want that, too.”
“Well, it’s up to us then. We’re the grown-ups.”
I take both her hands and kiss her knuckles one by one. “You’re going to be a fantastic mother.”
She shakes her head self-consciously. “I have no idea what kind of mother I’ll be. It’s not like I have a blueprint to follow.”
“You don’t need one. Some things are instinct, Paige. You let your heart lead you. That’s what counts.”
She nods, but I can see how nervous she is. How much the pressure of motherhood weighs on her. I lean in to kiss her cheek, but she turns her face and I catch her lips instead.
We hold that chaste, soft kiss between us, letting it change the fabric of our relationship. It’s not about power or control. It’s not about anger or submission.
This kiss is the start of something new.
29
PAIGE
He takes his time undressing me. Like each layer of clothing removed is a chance to memorize my body in a fresh light. He roams over my body slowly, taking it all in. His eyes never waver and his pace never quickens.
The only thing he doesn’t take off is my pendant. He strokes his hand down the chain, rubbing the worn metal of the charm with his thumb before he moves to my panties.
“Should we be doing this in the nursery?” I ask with a teasing smirk as he pushes me backwards on the window seat.
