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Or maybe that was just my life.
I noticed Hawk and some of the other guys, a few of the smokejumpers as well. I knew they were trying to cheer me up, but I was in a surly mood, eager to beat the crap out of someone. Maybe I’d get my chance.
“Didn’t think you were coming,” Gage said as he pushed an open bottle of beer in my direction.
What I needed was something more potent. Maybe a few shots of tequila would settle my mood.
“I almost didn’t. I’m not in the mood to see people.”
“Tell us something we don’t already know,” Phoenix teased.
I took a long pull of the brew, gazing around the place. Nothing felt right without Amelie. Not a damn thing.
“How’s Sam doing?” Colt asked from across the table.
“Better. He’s acting like his old self. Just moping.” I was grateful he was doing okay, owing his life to Amelie. Even that left a bitter taste in my mouth.
“Like you are,” Snake dared to say, his grin more evil than normal.
“How long has she been gone?” Chasity asked.
“Too long. Four days. She’s not coming back.” I heard the angst in my voice and sighed. I’d called her once, but she’d been different on the phone, abrupt. I’d known then she wasn’t coming back even if she hadn’t told me the words.
I could sense most of my friends had no idea what to say to me. What could be said? I fucked it up. I didn’t tell her enough how important she’d become to me. As soon as Colt walked closer, I bristled, even though I remembered what Amelie had told me about forgiving and healing.
Yeah, I just didn’t have it in me.
“Why are you still here?” I asked.
“Maybe I missed being home.”
I snorted my reply and we stood silently for a full minute, the others glaring at us.
“I’m sorry about everything,” he said.
“What are you sorry about? You have a great life.”
Colt laughed. “Don’t believe everything you read. About Sapphire Ridge. I know you still don’t think I gave a damn. You’re wrong.”
“Sure. Whatever.”
“Have you ever listened to one of my songs?” He turned his head in my direction.
“Can’t say I have.”
“Well, maybe you should. Almost every song was written about regret and my love for Belle. She was special to all of us. I just couldn’t bear the loss so I ran as fast I could. All the cars and money, women and awards, they mean nothing to me.”
“Why the hell are you telling me this?”
He took a swallow of his beer, the tension between us remaining. “Because I think you need to hear it. We all need to come to terms with what happened and move on. That includes you. If you love this woman, don’t let her out of your life. That’s my best piece of advice. Hell, it’s my only piece of advice.” He laughed, but I heard the sadness and anger. It was the same as I’d felt almost my entire life.
“Yeah, well. She has a life, one she was forced to run from. She doesn’t need to run any longer.”
Gage nodded in agreement. “I heard the Feds picked up several of Butelli’s men. They made a huge sweep. They won’t be bothering her. And I don’t know what she did, but Amelie managed to get a confession out of Rathbone for the murder of her mother.”
“That’s incredible,” Snake exclaimed.
“And sad,” Wren said, her sigh an indication of the way I felt.
