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“How can you see that?”
“Well, you already know he wants you.”
“I think me being pregnant with his baby would give that away, but what else do you see?”
“He wants you in his life. He doesn’t want to give you up the same way you don’t want to give him up. It’s the circumstances that are keeping you two from being together, but…I can’t control what will happen.”
“Okay, does this mean there probably isn’t much more information you can give me?”
“Sadie, you’re pregnant in a small town with small-town ways that you have outgrown. You are smarter than you give yourself credit for, and if I were you, I wouldn’t take any news as strictly bad news. If I were you, I would stay hydrated, pack an emergency bag, and save your tips. There’s a lot ahead of you, so I would also get some rest.”
“What about seeing a doctor?”
“You already know you don’t want to see the one in town. You have another week or two before it’s really required. Get your vitamins and be on your best behavior. Okay?”
I finish my water. Before I leave, Flora gives me a packet of herbal tea.
“This is tea for pregnant women. If you want, feel free to ask Dr. Google, and it’ll show you more. Also, I think it’s time for you to sleep with the crystals I gave you. Wear that necklace and put the other one under your pillow.”
I nod, remembering I have them stored in the bottom drawer of my jewelry box.
“Should I tell him…soon?”
Flora gives me a shrug. This is the first time she doesn’t seem sure. It’s like she wants me to make the decision, which certainly makes sense. But I almost want her to pass me a list of things to check off with detailed specifics like the closing list from “Nightingale’s.”
Ugh, how would I even tell Freddy? Should I text him from the car? Should I pop up at his motel again, but this time with my Red Sox thrift-store baseball cap? Or should I tell him to meet me somewhere? Maybe I should just sleep on it and see what happens after that.
I give Flora a tight hug, but she says goodbye as if she’ll be seeing me soon. Who knows? She probably will. I know I’m in shock because I haven’t fallen on my knees in screeching agony. Mom and Dad would be so fucking mad at me if they knew. Either way, I can’t hide from home.
When I got back home, Savannah was baking chocolate chip cookies, and I kid you not, I smelled them the moment I turned onto our road. She has on some of Mom’s old eighties tunes. The irony of hearing my little sister bellow out the lyrics toPapa, Don’t Preachby Madonna. The song is about a young woman telling her dad that she’s keeping her baby and that she’s in love with the baby’s father.
It almost feels like a set-up. I can picture Flora in her little shack, moving her hands around a crystal ball or something, telling the universe to drop clues about what I should do. I love my parents, and I know I would break their hearts if I were to tell them.
“You want some cookies when I’m done?” Savannah asks.
“I’m pooped. When I wake up, I will.”
“Are you okay?” Savannah asks. “Jackson told me he saw my mom’s car by that crazy psychic lady’s house about an hour ago. I told him it couldn’t have been, but now I see you had Mom’s car. “
“Your friend is seeing things. I wasn’t there.” I don’t have head space for that right now.
I go to my room and dig out the moonstone necklace Flora gave me. I put it on, slide the rose quartz under my pillow, and collapse on my bed.
Chapter 18
Freddy
Nineeveryweekdaymorningis my go-to start time for work. I don’t schedule it to stay disciplined or because I’m on someone else’s schedule. I schedule it because I have the most energy between nine and noon. It’s like macro Freddy energy, and it’s tough to explain. Even in college, whatever courses I had between nine and noon, success was reflected in those courses’ grades.
It’s about ten to nine at the moment. I set my tiny motel coffee pot to brew; my laptop is open. My phone rings, and I reach for it to see Courtney’s calling me. What the fuck does she want? Now I associate her name with “court.” I mean, I guess it all makes sense because here we are.
“Hello?”
“Freddy?”
“Yes, Courtney?”
“I’m calling to let you know that I’ve hired a private investigator to see what you’ve been up to in Hillpike.”
