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She clears her throat and scoots the tissue box my way.
I’ve always felt like taking tissues at first sight of tears isn’t right. It’s almost like one should earn them, and I’m not sure if my tears are enough right now. I grab one anyway and pat the corner of each eye.
“That baby will have some dynamic eyes. It will be a cross between yours and the father’s. The kind of blue-green you two would produce would be charming. But that’s only if that’s your plan.”
“Flora…are you serious?”
She slides the pregnancy test closer to me.What the hell?
“Were you not thinking of asking me to buy you a test this morning?”
Chills cover my entire body as if a spirit had just kidnapped me. She is absolutely correct. I do not trust Emily to ask her to do it for me. Because then she will be mad at me for not telling her that I slept with the fictional truck driver without protection.
Now I know Freddy had always used protection on me, except that time before Dad knocked on his door. That was about two weeks ago, and there’s no way I’m pregnant because of that. It had to have been the hotel in Chicago. I remember how carefree we were. How lusty we were, so much that something may have broken without us knowing it.
“I have a bathroom. It’s around the corner.”
I stand up and do what I know I must. Crammed in Flora’s small but cute bathroom, I can’t help but stare at each troll doll’s face I see as I pee on a pregnancy stick. Yup, Flora has about fifty little multicolor-haired troll dolls sitting on a shelf above the mirror in her bathroom. They’re the cutest ugly little faces I’ve ever seen. Geesh, I wonder what kind of face this baby may have if there’s a baby inside me.
I feel so lightheaded as I think of this. I really don’t know how to feel except like an idiot when I see the inevitable. The “Yes, you’re pregnant” line pops up, and I want to throw this test at the row of evil smiling trolls that stare at me. But who knows? Flora is probably outside the door right now, reading my thoughts.
When I return to her dining room table, she has a glass of ice-cold water for me. I drink it down entirely.
“Stay hydrated and pick up some vitamins on your way home.”
“Is this what you mean by the forest?” I really need to know.
“Not quite. But you’re almost there. Things may go awry before there’s any kind of light.”
“Oh, come on. I don’t need this in my life right now.”
“Your body. You should be able to make whatever decision you want to make. You have a little time to think about it. I’m not sure if you want to confide in anyone or—”
“I don’t have anyone to trust.”
“You do. You just don’t want to tell them. And I’m not talking about your friends. I’m talking about your family and your partner.”
“He’s not really a partner.”
“And Sadie, that’s the main reason you may not want to have the baby.”
“I think I need to process this.” Like, how can she tell me how I feel? Ugh.
“Sure. I know this is a lot. It should be a lot.” She folds her arms against her chest.
I take a sip of ice water. It feels like heaven as it cools my internal heat.
“Any chance you know how he would feel about it?”
Flora gives me a smile. Her face, wrinkled by the sun, has also been kissed by it. She looks healthy in an unexpected way, and I’m sure it has everything to do with the fact that she does not care. She has never cared about what this town thinks of her. She lives her life as organically as she can, and her authenticity is so pure. I’m curious how deep her gifts go. Is it possible that she can see Freddy’s desires?
“You got someone who really has a lot going on.” She rolls her eyes.
Uh oh. That’s not good.
“Well, he is going through a messy divorce. I’m not sure what all is going on but—”
“He wants you.” She says so matter-of-factly. I’m not sure if she’s doing that so I can leave her a tip, even though she claims she doesn’t want my money.
