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“Well, of course, she is. She looks just like me!” I wink.
With Roleplé, the users are able to upload photos of themselves which are transformed into artistic AI versions with a touch of gloss. The photo Patty uploaded of me has my big brown eyes looking extra sultry, my nose is as cute as a button, and my heart-shaped mouth is highlighted with a touch of cranberry in color. Since it was a full-body photo, my natural D cups look amazing in my cranberry-colored wrap dress, if I do say so myself, and my mermaid tattoo on my lower left leg looks as vibrant as if I recently got it recolored.
“Wow, this looks great!” I coo over myself.
“I think so too. Did you read your byline and About Me blurb?”
“Hi, I’m Mimi!” I laugh.
It’s recommended to choose a name for your avatar that is fairly close to your real name. We discourage using real names on Roleplé because, well, the app is called Roleplé. Ha! The big reveal is meant for the first in-person date. Until then, users are asked to select a nickname, preferably one connected to a real-life experience or hints at your real name. I guess the Mimi comes from the double M’s of my first and last names.
I continue reading. “Hi, I’m Mimi! I’m a matchmaker looking for a match.”
“Do you think that’s too generic?”
“No, I think it’s to the point, yet it may raise many questions.” I snicker.
“I can change it!”
“Well, let me read the About Me, and we’ll see. Welp, that rhymes!” I clear my throat and try to adopt a sultry voice to go along with my look.
“A year away from thirty,” I say, “I am most definitely flirty and….”
I can’t.
I start laughing so hard that my stomach aches. Patty appears slightly annoyed, and I can’t blame her. She does her darndest to remain professional, if not always trying to please me, and I’m at the point in my life where I don’t like to hide any of my sides, and, well, I can be silly. Especially after a few drinks in a bar after a wedding.
“A year away from thirty, I am most definitely flirty, but I’m looking for a happily ever after,” I say with less amusement. “I like to take my time and prefer someone who is serious about love with the desire to settle down sooner than later. I’m a heterosexual woman open to dating men ages thirty to forty. Having said that, divorcees, widowers, and/or men with children are welcome to engage with my avatar. I’m attracted to men over six feet who have physical jobs but keep their mental health equally fit. I prefer men who are handy around the house, love children, and know a few things about the outdoors. If I had to choose a Hollywood crush, he would be a cross between Jeffery Dean Morgan, aka Negan inThe Walking Dead, and, although I prefer someone taller, Tom Hardy. Someone with a construction worker or fireman vibe who’d build a fire with a pair of flimsy sticks if he had to.” I laugh. This is hilarious and pretty damn spot on.
“You sound like me.” I nod in approval.
Patty beams a quick, hard smile. “I want you to fill in your own interests and characteristics, but I think that’s the kind of guy you are looking for.”
“I love the mental health part because it is so often overlooked on some dating sites.”
“Well, I saw a plethora of hot guys who fit the image you’re looking for. Once you add your own detailed bio, I can insert you immediately, and Bam! Your avatar will be able to blink and engage in any mingle room.”
The mingling rooms are exciting as they incorporate different settings that mirror bars, the outdoors, and even museum lobbies which usually represent those who want an artistic partner. I’d put myself in the Grocery Store as that’s one of the spots that represent folks looking for happily ever after. You know the saying: “I should add a little lipstick because, you never know, I could very well meet my husband on a quick run for eggs.” Although that is not exactly a saying. Ha. I’m very proud that Roleplé doesn’t discriminate. Regardless of desires or preferences, Roleplé is open to anyone, whether they’re looking for a quickie or a soulmate.
Swiftly, led by alcohol, I add a few things about myself. “I love Scrapple and any games that involve words. I’m a cat person over dogs because, just like Robert DeNiro said inMeet the Parents, ‘You have to earn a cat’s respect.’ I graduated with high honors from DePaul University in Chicago with a degree in a completely nerdy field that I’ll share if we meet in public. I love spicy over sweet, and I think the East Coast is the best because we are more direct and quick, but I’d love someone to help me slow down and savor the garden-like moments in life.”
“Garden-like?” Patty is now reading what I added to the app.
“Please, edit it if you can. But you get what I mean, right? It was either that or ‘savor paint drying,’ and I really don’t want to do that.”
“Definitely not paint drying. How about…’ I’d love someone to help me slow down and savor the quiet moments in life.’?”
Patty seems unsure. I’m actually excited to see these men she is referring to. I have my vodka and tonic to thank for that.
“Perfect,” I say. “That’s it: ‘the quiet moments in life.’”
“Okay. Do you want to add anything like your favorite book genre or your obsession with Harry Styles or…”
“I am not obsessed with him.”
“Sure you’re not. He doesn’t fit your type at all but—”
“Exactly. It’ll confuse them. Harry Styles probably looks better with a sexy teddy on than I would and—”
“I doubt that!” Patty giggles.
“Well, leave it out. And I don’t want to talk about reading smutty novels. I don’t want to scream ‘freak.’ You can just say I like to read.”
“Most men have no clue what those books entail.”
“True. They probably think I yearn to make love in a bed of wildflowers. No, leave it out. I want blue-collar options. Whoever he is, I need him to be secure in his living wage because…I am doing quite well.” I raise my glass again.
“True. Hmm. Give me one more day, and you’ll be up and running,” Patty declares, and for whatever reason, I am now more excited about dating than the feel of Fiji sand beneath my feet.
