AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Or maybe I can.
“Please, Grey. Don’t make me start this all over. I won’t survive it.”
I feel my chest constrict, feel my skin start to sweat, and I know that if he sleeps separately that I too won’t be able to bear it. I’ll be a miserable mess until morning. I’ve grown used to being next to him, falling asleep in his arms.
“Lock the door,” I finally say, and Quinn’s shoulders sag in relief.
The lock clicks and he moves toward me, his hands on my face, his lips on mine. We are back in our little cocoon, sheltered from the outside world, and oh, to be in his arms again. It’s fucking heaven and feels so absolutely right.
“I’ll make up this bed out here, so he’ll never know.”
“It’s so deceptive,” I murmur against his lips. “He’ll be so angry if he finds out.”
“Don’t care. Don’t fucking care, Grey.”
“But I do. He’s my son.”
“Then stop me,” he tells me, pulling away, his hands still on my face. “Tell me to back off and I will.”
But I can’t. I can’t utter the words because I don’t want him to stop. I want Joshua in my life and Quinn by my side. That’s what I want.
“I’ll help you set it up,” I say instead.
Quinn lets out a long sigh and then we work on moving the table into a bed, rolling out his sleeping bag and placing his pillow at one end. We stare at it for a beat and he rumples it a bit. Then Quinn links his hand with mine and leads me to the bedroom. He shuts the windows and pulls down the blinds as I undress and then we’re crawling onto the bed together, our bodies pressed up against each other.
“Can I kiss you, just for a bit?” he asks, his nose nuzzling against my neck.
“Okay. Yeah,” I say, and he lowers his mouth to mine.
We kiss for long moments with the background noise of Winter’s snores.
When Quinn finally pulls away, I ache, desperation rampant within me. I want him inside of me again, but I can’t ask him to do that. I can’t risk it. When he fucks me, he owns me, and I can’t keep quiet. I know for a fact that even with the windows closed, Joshua and Hailey would hear what he was doing to me.
There would be no hiding from the truth then. And Joshua only just got here. I don’t want him storming off angrily in the middle of the night because I couldn’t keep a dick out of my hole.
Quinn shifts onto his back and tugs me up against him.
“No more thinking about it,” Quinn says softly, his hand massaging the back of my neck lightly. His touch relaxes me instantly, and I melt into him.
“You’re a good dad,” he says after a moment of silence, almost as if he can read my muddled thoughts.
“Not really,” I murmur, my hand curling against his stomach, because if I was a good dad, I would have resisted temptation. I wouldn’t have fucked Quinn, wouldn’t have been so selfish as to jeopardize their friendship and my relationship with my son.
“No, Grey. I know all the ways you showed up for Josh, despite being kept away. I know that you deserve recognition for a whole hell of a lot. Iseeyou.”
My throat closes up, and I feel my eyes begin to sting. No one has ever called me a good dad. No one has ever said those words to me. Except for Quinn.
“I haven’t done anything remarkable.”
“Says you. I know you picked up an extra night job so you could buy Josh his car. I know that Karen calls you every time Josh has something planned, like a school trip, and asks you to pay for it. I know that she never told him that it was you who funded his way to Mexico last year or to D.C. the year before that. And I know you’re paying for his college…”
My nose burns and I blink rapidly, feeling my heart thunder beneath my ribs.
“How do you know all that?”
“Because I pay attention. Because I spend all my time at Josh’s mom’s house or at yours and I hear things, notice things. I notice everything about you, Grey. I know that you work your ass off each and every day for your son, and he will never know it because you never tell him.”
“He can’t ever know,” I whisper.
