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I move to his dresser and pull it open, trying not to think about how I’m touching his boxers and his socks. I shove that out of my mind. I most definitely do not smell them. I absolutely do not.
“Fuck if I know what people in Kansas wear,” I mutter to myself. “Maybe a cowboy hat or some chaps.” Now I’m envisioning Bennet in assless chaps, and that is not something I need to be imagining while he’s hyperventilating in the other room. It just seems rude.
So I just focus closely on stuffing his suitcase with whatever I think he needs and pray it’s enough. I have no idea how long he’ll be out there. Could be days. Could be weeks. I pack a few cameras just in case he needs to work while he’s out there. I mean, that’s the thing with being a camboy. You can work pretty much anywhere. And I mean that literally.
When I’m done, I roll his suitcase out into the living room. Bennet is still on the floor and barely blinking. I worry he’s going to go into a coma. Wouldn’t that just be great. For fuck’s sake, he needs to get it together.
I squat down next to him and rest my hand on his arm. He blinks down at our point of contact and then lets out a broken breath.
“I need an airport name,” I tell him, praying to the gods that Kansas has airports.
He mutters a name and then quietly whispers, “Come with me.” The sound is so surprising that I fumble with my phone and drop it on the floor.
“Come with you?” I croak, picking up my phone and checking the screen. Thank fuck it’s not broken.
“I can’t…” He swallows. “I can’t go alone, Jasper. I hate fucking flying. And I can’t…I can’t breathe.”
He puts his head between his knees, inhaling deeply, and I just stare at him. I am not going to fucking Kansas with Bennet. That’s not a thing we do. We aren’t close. That is just preposterous.
“No way. I’m not fucking going with you to Kansas,” I mutter.
And he just nods, swallowing roughly, his hands flexing against his shins.
There is no way I’m getting on a plane with this man, no matter how sad he looks.
Absolutely not.
* * *
I caved like a house of cards. He just blinked at me, his eyes all wet and puffy, and I bought two fucking plane tickets. I had just enough time to pack a small bag at my place before we had to be at the airport. And now, here I am, sitting next to him on the plane, his head on my shoulder, his hand linked with mine.
He hasn’t said a word. I know he’s still alive because he’s breathing, and at one point I reached up and pressed two fingers against his pulse point. I could feel the thrum of his heartbeat against my skin and it made me feel a little better.
Honestly, what have I gotten myself into?
I don’t even know what Kansas is like for gay boys like me. I better not get into trouble. I don’t look like Bennet, like some kind of redneck asshole. He’s totally a hot redneck, but still. We are not the same.
I am going to fit in like a delicate rose in the middle of a rodeo.
Bennet turns his face and his nose brushes against my neck, and I tamp down a shiver.
Well, I better get some nice karma shit for this because I am not ready to die. I have a lot of things I still want to do with my life.
His phone buzzes where it rests on my thigh, and I swipe to answer it.
Yes, I’ve been texting his sister, Bridgette, letting her know what’s going on. I even paid for the damn airplane Wi-Fi to make sure that I wasn’t dragging Bennet across the country for nothing.
And it hasn’t been for nothing. His mom is in critical care right now, having suffered a severe stroke. It’s very serious.
Shit.
“We’re landing,” I say, squeezing his hand. He squeezes back, acknowledging he heard me.
Well, that’s something. I could start using Morse code to communicate if things get really desperate. I’m sure I could find a YouTube tutorial or something to help aid us in this.
Now, I just need to figure out how to rent a car and get us to his family’s place. His sister said it would take three hours to get to their house from the airport. The regional airport near his town didn’t have any flights this late, which means I’m going to be driving us both through the middle of nowhere.
Bridgette said to be prepared for no cell service and lots of windmills and cows.
