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Mothers are huddling their children to their sides, talking in quiet whispers as I clutch the pig, letting its little snout get me all snotty. It’s heavier than I expected which makes me think about Jimbob and his big muscles and sexy farm boots, and I fall to the muddy ground and weep.
I’m forcibly removed by an old man who warns me sternly never to come back again.
They probably think terrible things about me. But I don’t care. The tears have started and aren’t gonna stop. It’s a flash flood. I warned myself and yet here I am, full of snot and tears and clutching my steering wheel like it’s my best friend.
I’ve lost my mind. It’s gone now. This is how my life is gonna be.
Suddenly, my phone rings and I stare down at it, seeing Bennet’s name flash across the screen.
I don’t know why he’s calling, but I don’t want him to hear me like this, to let myself be vulnerable like this. I’m not gonna answer, just gonna sit here and flood the car with my tears, just drown in them.
I swipe on the screen to end the call, but my finger slips—or maybe it’s because I just can’t see that well through all the tears—and I end up answering the call.
“Jasper?” his familiar voice says through the line. My heart jumps in my chest, and I feel warm all over.
I put the phone up to my ear and swipe at my nose. Oh gods, I can’t even talk. I can’t find the words. It’s just stuttered breaths.
“Where are you? Are you okay?” he asks.
I can’t even respond, just hiccup pathetically.
“Okay, you know what? Just…just text me where you are and I’ll come to you.”
My entire body freezes and my mouth falls open.
“You’re here?” I croak out, and he lets out a soft laugh.
“Yeah, where are you?”
“A petting zoo.”
“What? Which one?”
I can’t answer, just start sobbing again because I can’t believe he’s here. I thought for sure he was staying in Kansas. He came back.He came back.
“Come home, baby,” he says softly. “Come home and let me hold you.”
And when the tears finally stop, and I can drive safely, I do. I drive right to my place and fall into his arms.
* * *
“Why did you go to a petting zoo?” Bennet asks me, his body under mine. I draped myself over him and haven’t let go. He’s gonna have to wear me now.
“I wanted to pet a cow, but it hated me. Its moo was full of disdain and anger,” I say and then sigh, my fingers playing with his hair. The action is soothing me, making me feel calm. Or maybe that’s just Bennet. He makes me feel the weirdest things.
“Yeah, not every cow is like Winnie. She’s special.”
I lean up and meet his stare. He looks ethereal. I know I’m looking worse for wear. My eyelids are swollen and my nose aches. I just feel bloated and red. I’m sure I look like a cooked lobster. But the way Bennet is looking at me makes me feel like I’m the hottest guy on the planet.
Like he adores me.
“Why did you come home? How is your mom? How’s Kristy?”
Bennet sighs and his hands splay across my back, massaging up the column of my spine. “I couldn’t stay there. I just couldn’t. It’s not who I am. And then there’s you. I missed you too damn much.”
The easy way he says it, like it’s not a big deal, makes my heart expand and stretch out my chest. It’s so big and full right now it aches. Doesn’t he realize how badly I needed to hear that? That I mean something to him?
“And my mom is fine, she’s doing much better. And Kristy said she was proud of me and that she misses me when I’m gone. It’s one of the reasons she wanted me to come home. God. I can’t believe she said that.”
