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“I did too,” she whispers, leaning into my ear. “My favorite part was not having to run away after.”
We share a laugh before I repeat the same thing to her. I kiss her temple as we settle into place, feeling nothing but peace in the air between us.
It’s then I notice a newfound confidence in me, feeling reassured that I can make her my mate, that we’d be able to make things work somehow.
I was so wrong to ever think you didn’t want to be with me in the first place Sienna. Maybe you were afraid to trust an elf, and for that I can never blame you.
I think then that that’s why she continuously pushed me away when she used to work with me, dismissing our relationship from anything more than something physical, so we would ‘remain a secret’.
But I won’t give up like I did back then Sienna. I know that mind of yours can be changed if I show you what I’m capable of. Nothing is going to stop me from this moment on.
23
SIENNA
I’m sucked into my work at the shop. My duties have me running to and fro between different sections of the shopfloor.
After wiping the jinrayahs, I conduct a quality check on all the strings of the awalpos, ilyas, and homres.
I rearrange the cornos in order from smallest to largest and wipe down all of the hombres before finally opening up the store.
As busy as I am, there’s only one thing, or person, on my mind during the entirety of the shift; Ris. I try keeping myself busy but the inevitable thoughts keep rushing back.
“I can’t believe it… After all this time, you still find a way to show back up in my life and make me feel the same way you did since day one,” I say to myself.
I think of when I fell asleep last night in his arms, right after doing what I thought would never happen again. My body quivers at the thought of feeling him inside me, a sensation I went without for two long years.
Am I a fool for letting you back in?I think internally.
I keep repeating the question to myself as the minutes start to crawl by like hours. It’s almost as if a part of me is trying to find an ounce of regret but… I can’t help but notice there’s none to be found, even if I try to feel that way.
It was a moment of weakness, a drunken temptation,I admit. Even then, I feel not one bit guilty.
“As if I didn’t want you bad enough in the first place Ris,” I say aloud as if really talking to him. “All of that time and effort I spent building the distance between us… It only made me long for you harder than ever.”
I let out a heavy sigh, unsure of where to go from here. After all, resentment was never a thing I held internally for Ris. Nothing felt so right as the way I reunited with him last night in the manner that we did.
In both my mind and body, it felt like I had returned to a long lost home. Still, despite my lack of regret, I wondered if it was right. For a moment, I contemplate getting rid of him from my life for a second time.
My heart immediately screams out in protest.
There’s no way I can go back to a life without him, not after everything that’s already happened,I think.I’ve been in love with this man for so long. Two years is long enough, I wish not to deprive myself of him for any longer.
The image of his beautiful face flashes in my mind as I think of how much I missed him. There was no denying my feelings for him, especially now that we were making things work between us again… But could we hold onto our rekindled romance?
I knew in the time we spent apart, Ris must have plagued himself with question after question about my disappearance. My heart breaks at the thought of him crying without me, with no one to turn to for answers.
At the end of the day, there is only one person who could answer it all for him… and that’s me. I had no one to blame but myself.
I know it’s only a matter of time until he gets comfortable enough to ask what’s been eating away at him for two years.
Why did you ever leave me in the first place?I hear his voice say.
Then, I wonder if he’ll ask me to return to Le Lazurt so everything can be just the way it used to be, back in the old days. Even if I did, I knew it would never be the way it was before. I have a son to look after now, and he comes first.
Ris deserves to know the truth before we can ever hope of being together again.
A chill runs up my spine as fear takes its grip on me. It’s then that I realize that telling him could also permanently spell the end for us. There’s always the chance he ends up siding with his sister over me.
