Page 117 of Hate Like Ours

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“Eat more,” he grumbles at me.

“I can’t. I feel nauseous,” I whimper.

“Toast is supposed to settle your stomach, so eat it.”

I do as he says and eat all of it. By the time I’m done, the overwhelming need to throw it all up is overpowering. I hop up and out of my chair and run for the bathroom again. Once I’m done and clean my mouth, I look up to see Knox standing there in the doorway looking at me with an expression I can’t name on his face.

I walk out of the bathroom without saying a word. He doesn’t either. He just hands me a bottle of water and I take it and take a sip from it. Water shouldn’t make me feel any worse, right? He walks us into the den that’s on the first floor and he puts on a movie for us to watch. He puts onTitanic, which is my favorite movie in the whole world. I’m surprised to say the least.

“How did you know?” I question.

“I know a lot of things about you. You weren’t the only one who was paying attention,” he says.

I’m confused but I don’t say anything. What the hell can I say? He lies on the couch, pulls me on top of him and throws a blanket over us. We both turn our heads in the direction of the television.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers a moment later, as he places a kiss on my forehead and wraps his arms tightly around my body as we lie there on the couch.

I ignore him because he’s sorry? He’s sorry? He’s fucking sorry and I should just forgive him so easily? Yeah, fucking right. The only reason I’m not putting up a fuss right now is because I don’t feel well.

“I don’t forgive you and I don’t know if I ever will,” I tell him honestly.

“Then I guess I’ll just have to do everything I can to make that happen,” he says with total conviction in his voice.

A sudden wave of exhaustion hits me and I close my eyes for a bit. I must have fallen asleep because when I wake up, it’s to the sound of voices in the room. I keep my eyes closed so they won’t know that I’m awake.

“Would you assholes shut the fuck up so you don’t wake her?” Knox snaps quietly.

“Don’t get your panties in a twist! We’re being quiet,” a voice that sounds like Ezra says.

“How is she doing though after you know, the whole hospital stint?” Asher asks.

“Have you finally come to your senses, dickhead?” Axel asks next.

“One, you’re not being quiet, dickhead! Two, she’s trying but obviously we have some issues to work through. I’m going to make sure she gets better somehow. I can’t lose her. Three, yes I’ve finally come to my senses, asshole,” Knox grumbles and I feel the vibration of his chest moving against my face.

Not wanting to intrude on their conversation anymore, and before he calls me an eavesdropper, I open my eyes and lift my head up, rubbing my eyes.

“Oh, hi there, princess. Looks like you’re finally awake,” Ezra says with a smile on his face. I don’t smile back though because I’m wary of them. I look up and they’re all looking at me with different expressions on their faces, but I don’t have the energy to examine them. I get up into a sitting position with the intention of leaving Knox alone with his friends, but he holds me back.

“Stay. Please? I want you to get to know my friends,” he tells me.

“The same friends that did nothing while I was being bullied every day in that horrendous school? The same friends that watched you hurt me time and time again?” I question, then turn to look at them. “I’m sorry, but it’s too soon. As a matter of fact, I don’t know if I’ll ever—”

I get up and rush out of the den and back up to my room. I slip into bed and curl up in a ball and just lie there. A moment later, I hear the door to my room open and then he’s on the bed behind me. I stiffen, prepared for him to attack me but he surprises me instead.

“I’m sorry. That was insensitive of me,” he whispers.

“I hate you. But why do I want you near me even when it still hurts so fucking much? Why? Why? Why?” I sob my questions out at him.

“Shhh,” he whispers as he pulls me into his arms.

“I just want to die. You’ve made me hate life so much.”

“I’ll make you love it again,”he whispers with his lips against my forehead. I’m not sure I believe him. I don’t think that’ll ever happen.



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