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I want to be her worst nightmare.
I want her to feel the wrath that I’m going to unleash on her.
By the time I’m done with her, I want her on her knees, begging me to stop.
I’ll be the thing she never thought she had to run from. Every time she thinks about me, all I want her to remember is that the devil is after her.
Maybe someday she’ll know exactly why I hate her, but not today. I want to have some fun fucking with her first. It’s the only way I’ll be able to keep the promise I made to my mother at her grave.
Just thinking about my mother has the ache in my soul resurfacing. If I was being honest, the pain never left since I found her lifeless body on her bed.
This morning I made it to school thirty minutes earlier than I usually do and the anticipation of seeing my newest toy again is making me burst at the seams. She doesn’t know she’s my toy yet, but she will. Reveling in her torment will make me happy, even if it’s for a fleeting moment.
Once I start my campaign against her, everyone in the senior class will follow my lead. They always seem to do that. I don’t care about the rest of the school and what they do as long as no one in the senior class goes against me because I’m the god here.
My friends and I, we rule this place. Everyone else follows us because they want to fit in and stay in our good graces.
They’re all so predictable but it usually suits my agenda. That means they’ll all do my dirty work while I sit back and watch. Moments like those are when I’m glad to be the king of the school.
They’re all my domino pieces that I’ve carefully laid out and once I tip the first one, they’ll all fall just the way I want them to.
This past weekend, all I did was drink myself into a stupor and get high off my ass before coming up with ways on how to make this girl’s life unbearable.
I promised myself that last weekend was the last time I’d be off the wagon. It was time to start with my plans of vengeance.
I went easy on her yesterday but it was just enough to let everyone know that I didn’t like the new girl. No one knows why, not that it’s their business, but they’ll take my lead, nonetheless.
My thoughts swing back to my mother and I can’t believe it’s only been a few days since we laid her to rest. Those days have felt longer than they actually were. It sucks to be at home and not see her face or sit and watch movies with her.
I hate how much it hurts just thinking about her. After everything I found in her letter and seeing how long she was suffering alone in silence, made me want to smash everything around me. There is a haze of rage that always seems to blanket me. I just hope that wherever she is, she’s finally at peace.
Sometimes though, the hate I feel for her, every time I think about what she did, is so consuming, it’s a wonder I’m not drowning in it. I’m so confused and angry. I’m not sure if I’ll ever forgive her for what she did. Even if I don’t, I still fucking love her deep down inside. At the end of the day, she was still my mother.
My father has barely been home as usual, but at least now I know why. I’m fucking pissed at him. My mother’s letter put so much into perspective. I also had my own investigation done and everything she documented was true. To say I was fuming would be an understatement. Now, every time I saw my father, all I wanted to do was strangle him.
I keep my cool though, because in the end, I’ll be the one who wins. I guess it’s a good thing he’s barely home anyway.
His actions, along with his selfishness, is what drove her to the brink of insanity. I wish she was stronger, and I hate them both for it.
I guess that final bit of information is what really sent her over the edge and that’s why it’s been hard to control my boiling rage whenever I’m in his presence.
I should get an Oscar for the acting I’ve done over the last few days. I’ve had to act like I don’t know anything. I don’t want him to know I know what he caused.
I don’t even know if he realizes that he’s the cause for what Mom did. I’m assuming he has no clue. But yet, still, he’s content with going on with his life like nothing happened.
He probably thinks we were still in the dark, unaware of what he was doing, and that’s why he kept doing it. Too bad for him, his dirty secrets are no longer a secret. My plan for now is just to avoid him as much as I can.
I think about some of the plans I have and a smile crosses my face. This might be the first real one in days. Yeah, my plan is much better than if I confronted him. Maybe someday I will but for now, I need to get my pound of flesh first. I’ll let it play out and see who has the last laugh.
The asshole was so far gone when it came to our family. He wasn’t aware that he was slipping or that my mother knew. Maybe he just didn’t care. I wish she would’ve handled things differently. It’s too bad I can’t go back and change the past.
He knew she was sick with her depression and instead of being with her, he left her to fend for herself, while he was out doing whatever he wanted. None of that matters anymore because I’ll be getting my own version of revenge. For as smart as he is when it comes to business, he really is fucking stupid when it comes to his personal life.
I shake my head to dispel the thoughts in my head. If I continue thinking about it for much longer, my anger will just get out of control. I don’t need that right now. No one wants to be in my path when shit like that happens. Plus, it’s too early in the day to be pissed off.
I finally get out of my Range Rover and shut the door behind me. I walk to the front and hop onto the hood to sit and wait for the guys. They’ll be showing up soon. I light a blunt and then take a long pull to calm myself from my earlier thoughts. There’s nothing better than weed to calm you the fuck down and mellow you out.
A few minutes later, while I’m just chilling by myself, Ivy, the girl I’ve been fucking for the last few weeks, walks up until she’s standing right in front of me. I take another pull of my weed and blow the smoke out into her face. She starts to act annoyed.
