It’s already noonwhen I finally wake up after the mindfuck Knox put me through. One minute, I think he might have feelings for me and then the next, he’s acting like an asshole. I keep getting whiplash and I’m not sure what to do about him anymore. This shit is exhausting.
I drag myself out of bed and take a shower before throwing on a T-shirt and some shorts. I make my way downstairs. I walk into the kitchen to grab some juice when my mom walks in. She looks so happy and I’m a little jealous. I wish I had the same happiness she does.
Riverside has brought nothing but happiness for her while it’s brought nothing but pain and unhappiness for me. Nevertheless, I push those thoughts away because I can never be envious of her. I want her to have all the happiness in the world like I’ve always wanted for her, especially after her and my dad started to fight constantly and things became a shitshow.
“Honey, are you alright? I called and texted you a few times but you didn’t respond. You had me a little worried,” she says as she walks over to me and gives me a kiss on the forehead.
“Shoot, I’m sorry, Mom! I just woke up. This past week was a jammed packed one and I guess I was super tired,” I say apologetically.
“Oh, I’m sorry school is kicking your butt,” she says, giggling since she knows that this is a first for me.
“I’m sure you are,” I say with an eye roll but there’s a smile on my face too.
“Hey, I’ve always said that you don’t need to be miss perfect, you know. It’s okay that’s school is tough sometimes. I don’t expect you to kill yourself every day, trying to get the perfect grades. I just want you to succeed while also taking care of yourself and having fun while doing it,” she tells me in a gentle voice.
That’s one thing I can always depend on my mom for. She always knows how to make me feel better and not like the complete failure that I am. Yes, I was doing well in school but I’m a complete failure at life because I’m letting these assholes get inside my head.
Well. I used to be good at school. I’m not anymore and my grades can attest to that. I’m going to need to fix that shit and fast, before it messes up my chance at a college and getting the fuck out of here. I don’t think I’d survive being here for the rest of my life.
“Hey, were you in the backyard last night or anytime yesterday?” she asks.
“Oh, it’s nothing. Just some of my plants got knocked over. Must have been an animal or something,” she tells me.
“Must have been,” I agree with her, since I wasn’t the one to break her pots.
“Well, let me know when you’re ready to go,” she tells me a few minutes later. My spoon is halfway to my mouth when I stop it midair.
“Ready to go where?” I ask with furrowed brows. I mean, lately everything is blurring together and I don’t know where my head is most of the time.
“We’re supposed to go dress shopping today, silly,” she says, and I inwardly groan.
I completely forgot about that. The wedding is a few weeks away and I grimace at the thought of my soon-to-be stepbrother. Even though I hate him, he also elicits other feelings in me as well.
I’m not sure how Knox is going to react when we become official stepsiblings. I mean, we already know it’s coming but I’m not sure how he’ll react when it actually happens. That’s another thing to worry about. He’ll either calm down or he’ll go all out with the tormenting. This situation could literally go either way. Trying to read him is impossible.
“Shit! Is that today?” I ask, just to be sure.
“Yes. I’ve only been telling you about it every day this week,” she says, rolling her eyes again. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yes, Mom, I’m fine. I’ve just been a little preoccupied this week. I completely forgot that it was today,” I tell her. “Just stay right here and I’ll go get changed. I showered already so it won’t take me long,”
“Okay, sweetheart,” she says as I hop up from my seat and rush upstairs to my room. I grab a simple yellow floral sundress and then put a sweater over it and pair it with some white sneakers.
I put my red hair up in a bun and check my appearance in the mirror. I hate how I look. I can see the pudge of my stomach and my thick thighs. I hate everything about me. Before I get too carried away and hate everything else as well, I move away from the mirror.
I grab another Percocet. I want it to start working so that I can lose some of this weight. I think once that happens, I’ll finally start to feel a little better. I wash the pill down with some water and then I head back downstairs. This pill will help me lose weight while also giving me the high I’m craving.
Mom is still in the kitchen where I left her. I walk in and tell her that I’m ready to go. She gets up from her chair and we both walk outside. I get into the passenger seat and she gets into the driver’s seat and we’re off.
I hope we have a good day because it feels like I haven’t had a good day in ages. I forgot what it’s like to just laugh and have fun like a regular teenager. I forgot what it’s like to just exist without anyone constantly picking on me.
We pull up to the dress shop and I can instantly tell that it’s expensive as hell. As soon as we enter the door, we’re greeted by the staff like royalty. I snicker at that thought of being royalty. Then again, Mom will be married to royalty soon. The man is like a gazillionaire.
Maybe that’s why Knox walks around like a giant prick most of the time. His head is too filled with all the money he has and the rest that he will no doubt inherit.