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So many emotions are running through me right now. The most prominent one is that I’m scared. I’m scared of being back here. What if those two decide to attack me again? They did say that what happened there on the side of the road wasn’t the end of it. The thing that scares me is that I don’t know when they’ll attack again.
Since their last stunt was cut short, I know they’ll be back to finish the job. I just hope it doesn’t ever happen or that I’m strong enough to survive them a second time if it does. There’s this overwhelming urge to cry and let it all out, but I keep it together since I don’t want Knox asking too many questions.
All I know is that I need to find a way to get out of this house. I need to get high again. I need more pills to take away the anxiety I’m currently feeling and for it to mellow me out so that I’m not constantly thinking about how I was violated and beaten by someone from school, or maybe they’re not even from school. It could literally be anyone and that’s what scares me as well.
A moment later, Knox comes back and picks me up from my bed before carrying me to the bathroom where he places me on my feet by the tub. He starts to undress me slowly and carefully. I try to stop him but he doesn’t let me.
Again, I don’t want him to see my body. It looks horrible from the scars and from all the weight that I’ve lost too.
“Don’t fucking hide from me again. I’ll be inspecting your body every day to make sure your bruises heal and to also make sure that you’re gaining weight. No more starving yourself or taking pills or whatever the fuck else you were doing to yourself. You got me?” he growls at me. I don’t answer but he’s not letting it go. “Did you hear me, babe?”
“Yes. I fucking heard you, asshole!” I snap. I’m in a bad mood again. It feels like I’m always in a bad mood. I don’t know how to be happy again.
I want to be something other than bitter and angry at the world. I want to be the girl who loved the little things and who smiled at those things instead of seeing them with hate-filled eyes now.
“Don’t get smart with me, babe. A spanking would hurt you right now,” he smirks.
“Seriously? Why don’t you just beat me black and blue then since you’re so fond of it or want to inflict pain on me!” I snap at him and he lets out a sigh.
“You and I both know I haven’t hurt you physically, well, except for the time I nicked your pussy and then licked up your blood,” he says in what sounds suspiciously like a turned-on voice.
“Yeah, well you royally fucked me up mentally so you might as well have beat me too,” I grumble. “Of course, you’d be turned on by that, you psycho! I can see the fucking tent in your pants!”
“Baby, you know I love fucking your pussy whether you give it to me willingly or not. You’re always soaking my cock by the time I slide inside that tight-as-fuck cunt of yours. Obviously, I’d be hard thinking about said pussy,” he smirks.
“Dickhead!”
“But that’s not happening right now because all I want to do is bathe you and take care of you. We can worry about your needy little pussy later,” he tells me.
“I can take a bath myself,” I protest. The thought of him washing me is too intimate to think about right now. Yeah, yeah, we’ve fucked but we’ve never been intimate and soft before like we were on the plane ride.
“Wasn’t asking,” he tells me in that annoying cocky voice of his that always makes me want to slap his damn face.
He directs me into the tub and I sit down. The hot water against my bruised skin along with the smell instantly feels good and calms me down a little. I let out a little whimper because my body still hurts.
Knox strips and then gets in behind me. I try to wiggle away to get to the other side of the tub but before I can do that, he pulls me back into him so that my back is against his chest.
He grabs the sponge and squirts some bodywash onto it before he starts to sensually rub it along my skin. He’s being soft and careful. His actions bring tears to my eyes and before I know it, they’re falling down my cheeks.Why the fuck am I always crying?
“What’s the matter, baby?” he asks as he pauses washing me.
“I-I don’t know. I’m just feeling so overwhelmed with everything,” I say.
It’s true I am overwhelmed with everything—him being nice to me and taking care of me right now, and all the outside factors that he knows about and doesn’t know about. It’s all just beginning to feel like it’s too much for me to handle.
“You’re going to be fine. I’m going to make sure of it,” he whispers in my ear.
“How?” I question.
“Because no one else is going to love you like I do. I’m going to make sure you see it every day. In time, you’ll forget—well, not forget, but you’ll put the past behind you where it belongs when you finally see how good we are together,” he rasps.
I can feel his thick erection against my back and my butt but he doesn’t make a move to do anything about it. He’s solely focused on me right now.
“It’s not that easy. I still hate you so so much and the only reason you’re even next to me right now is because you keep invading my space. You won’t go away!”
“I know. But it’s the only way. If I give you space, then you’ll be stuck inside your head and we’ll never be able to move forward. So, I’ll be on your ass twenty-four seven if that’s what it takes,”
“What it takes for what?” I question.
