AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I repeat that in my head a few times. Having sex right now and staying out of my head is me proving to myself that yes, I do have what it takes to survive. At least for now…
Because let’s face it, depression comes and goes. You can fight it all one day but then the next, it beats you down so badly you have no idea how you’ll even make it to the next day.
I guess all I need to do is take it one day at a time and see where this life and this horrible place will take me…
“Where did you go? You better not be fucking thinking about anyone else! Especially that fucking prick Aiden!” he snaps, pulling me up a little and holding me by the neck as he pounds into me.
I want to laugh. If he only knew that Aiden has his own girl that he loves dearly, he wouldn’t be so worried.
“I’m right here, dickhead!” I grunt. At my words, he gives me a particularly hard thrust that has me coming again.
A moment later, he gives out a grunt as I feel him coming inside me. The feeling of his hot cum inside me has me feeling so good. I don’t want this to ever end but then reality always comes back when the glow of pleasure fades away.
He rests his head against the back of mine and his heavy breathing tickles the back of my neck. He’s holding me up with the arm he has around my stomach. My legs feel like jelly. I don’t think I’d even be able to move on my own right now.
“I love you,” he whispers and I stiffen. His words sound like a vow, like a promise of all the crazy he’s going to bring my way. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready for that.
I don’t respond to his words like he knew I wouldn’t. He lets out a long sigh as he pulls out of me. He bends down and I turn back to look at him. He has his face in line with my pussy and I feel my cheeks heat when he lifts a hand to push the cum that’s already beginning to leak out back inside of me before pulling my thong back up my legs.
“We don’t want any cum getting out now, do we? You’re going to stay the rest of the day like that, with my cum filling your pussy,” he says with a smirk before bending down to give me a kiss on the forehead. “Stay here for a second.”
He walks to the back of the car, pulling something out before coming back over to me. I see that he has a tube of cream with him.
“Lift your skirt back up,” he says gently. I guess his crazy has disappeared for now. I do as I’m told and watch as he squirts some into his hand before rubbing it onto the sore flesh of my ass.
The cream instantly has a soothing effect and I let out a sigh at the relief I feel. When I get back inside the car, I have to sit kind of sideways on the seat because my ass hurts too much. The bastard has the audacity to laugh at me.
Thirteen
RAINE
I’ma ball of conflicted emotions. I sit and stare out the window as we finally start to make our way to school. Knox has his hand resting on my thigh and I’m barely resisting the urge to push it off. That will only lead to another argument that I don’t want to have right now.
On one hand, I love what he does to me. On the other, I should hate everything he does with a passion, but I just can’t seem to.I guess somewhere inside me is as broken as something inside him.
How do I even go about fixing everything that is wrong with me? Do I even want to? I’m exhausted to the point that nothing really matters much anymore, which makes me even sadder when I think about it. I wish we had never moved here.
The throbbing in my ass keeps me from delving too far inside my head, and I guess I should be thankful for that. Every time I get too inside my head, I end up getting so pissed that I end up lashing out at him.
I know that’s not healthy. Life has just been one complication after the next. I know I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again, I’m fucking drowning.
The only person who seems to be enjoying life right now is my mother. I speak to her when I’m not fucked up and miss her calls, but it’s getting harder and harder to talk to her because of how upbeat and happy she always is over the phone. I’m trying really hard not to hate her too, but there’s a small part of me that does.
These days, after everything I’ve been put through, I have to wonder if I’m a bad daughter for these thoughts. That puts a damper on my mood as well. I’ve never been one to be jealous of anyone’s happiness but I find that sometimes when it gets to be too much, I’m jealous of the fact that my mother is on vacation and living life, while I’m here suffering from depression and whatever the fuck else is wrong with me.
I let out a sigh to shut the voices down once again inside my head. Even that feels like it’s draining all of my energy at the moment. We’ve only made it a mile out of the back road and onto the main one when I see two expensive cars following behind us. One of them drives up until they’re in front of us and the other stays behind.
I have no doubt who’s inside those vehicles and I absolutely do not want to interact with Knox’s friends. I kind of hate them too because they’re assholes just like him. I mean, how the hell do you just stand back and watch your friend bully someone he didn’t even know?
That’s another reason why I’m so pissed all the time. I want to know why and it’s killing me, not knowing. I want to know why I had to be bullied by everyone when I didn’t even know them. I want to know why I had to suffer like this. I’ll never be able to get past all these hang-ups unless I know.
When the car comes to a stop in the parking lot, I get out without saying a word. I put my head down as I start to walk toward the school but before I can take two steps, Knox is there stopping me.
“What now, asshole?” I grumble at him.
“We’re staying out here for a while. I need them all to know that you’re mine,” he says with a wink. Ugh!
“But I’m not,” I say and then lean up to whisper in his ear. “I might let you fuck me still but that’s just because you’re a bully. If I said no, you’d take it anyway. This way, I have the power to choose. Letting you fuck me is so we can both feel good until the time comes when all you’ll be is a distant memory of all the things I hated about this place.” I give him a sickly sweet smile when I come off my tiptoes to look up at him. His jaw is clenched and it looks like he’s doing everything he can to hold his anger in.
