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It takes a long time for me to get myself together again. Once I do, I step out of the stall and wash my face. I wipe it once I’m done and yep, I look miserable. Definitely can’t hide the fact that I was crying.
A moment later, I see Kinsley standing behind me and I let out a sigh. I can’t deal with her on top of everything that just happened and what I found out.
“Hey, can we talk?” she asks.
“What’s up?” I say, turning around to look at her.
“We can be friends again. Everything about you on that site has been taken down and now that Knox has claimed you… we can be friends again,” she says with a hopeful tone in her voice.
I wish I had it in me to go there again but with the way I’m feeling, I don’t think so.
“Look, just forget we were ever friends, okay? It’ll be better that way. Isn’t that what you said to me?” I sneer at her.
“I’m so sorry! I was in a tough position and had to do as I was told,” she whispers as tears run down her face. “No one will bother you now.”
“So that makes it alright? You weren’t there when I fucking needed my friend! So, what makes you think that I need you now? It’s too fucking late! It doesn’t matter if I’m being protected or not now, the worst has already happened,” I say and tears fall down my face.
“What do you mean?” she asks.
“It means that I don’t fucking need you! I’m doing fine on my own. You weren’t there when it mattered. With friends like you, who the fuck needs enemies?”
“I’m sorry!” she sobs. “I’m still the same girl who was your friend,”
“Nah. The difference between me and you is that no matter what, I would have stayed by your side because that’s what friends do. I definitely wouldn’t have chosen dick over someone I called a friend!” I scream at her.
“But—”
“Just fucking stop and leave me the hell alone! We’re done! I don’t need fucking fake friends who want to be friends again just because it’s convenient for them. Go hop on Asher’s dick where you’ve been the whole time since you left me behind!” I yell again. I am so over this fucking shit.
When she doesn’t make a move to leave and only stands there crying, I storm out of the bathroom and leave her behind.
Maybe someday I’ll forgive her. Or I could be dead tomorrow. Who the hell knows? But if that were to happen, that day is definitely not today.
I grab the phone Knox gave me this morning and schedule an Uber to go home. I can’t stay in this school a moment longer, at least not today.
While in the car, I pull up the website page that’s usually filled with trash. I’m surprised to see that she was telling the truth. All the pictures, comments, and edits about me are all gone, like they never even existed.
It’s not here, but I’ll always carry the scars from that shit because I’ll always remember seeing all those things being said about me and all the nasty comments they posted. It doesn’t matter that it doesn’t exist anymore because I saw it all for myself.
As soon as I make it home, I grab a bottle of alcohol and make my way to my room. I start drinking as I lock my door and head straight for the bathroom where I grab my razor and sit in the shower. I drink and cut as the sobs take over me.
I should have known that it was Ivy and Trent who fucked my life over so bad. I mean, they were the only ones who seemed to hate me the most and now I know that it was true.
My emotions are all over the place and having remembered what happened Friday night is seriously messing with my head. I don’t know how to get rid of the images anymore and they hurt. They hurt so fucking bad.
I’m covered in blood and my body aches. I’ve finished half of the bottle. When I look down at myself to take stock of the damage I’ve done… well, it’s bad.
Dickhead Knox is going to fucking freak when he sees it because I have cuts on my thighs and my arms. Those definitely won’t be hard to miss.
When I’ve exhausted myself mentally, I walk out of the bathroom and drop headfirst onto the bed. I don’t even dry my skin, just lie there until I pass out.
Fifteen
KNOX
This morningdefinitely constitutes another one of our disastrous ones. I swear she lives to torment my ass these days, though I know that was coming. She’s too in her head right now.
There isn’t a moment where it seems like we’re not at each other’s throats. But what the hell did I expect? For her to come to me with open arms? Definitely not. But it’s like she purposefully does everything in her power to not listen to a word I say, even when it’s for her own damn good.
