AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I grumble about how much of an annoying asshole he is before turning back to face the window while ignoring him. I spend a while just lying there and watching the rain fall. I don’t have the energy to do anything else. I can hear him playing his video game a few feet away from me but he doesn’t intrude on me by trying to talk any more.
Eventually I fall asleep and I don’t wake up until hours later when I hear his panicked voice. I’m surprised I even slept that long. I’m still having trouble sleeping with all the nightmares constantly plaguing me.
“Oh shit! When? Is he okay though? Emergency room?” he asks and I turn around to see him on the phone. He looks at me and purses his lips. I can see the indecision on his face. Whatever is happening is serious but he doesn’t want to leave me.
“Go. I’ll be fine right here,” I say.
“I’ll be there soon,” he says before hanging up.
“What’s going on?” I ask curiously.
“Something’s wrong with Ezra again,” he says, sounding pained.
“Then go and stop standing here arguing with me,” I tell him.
“The staff is going to keep an eye on you. I swear to God if you do any dumb shit while I’m gone, I’ll fucking tan your ass and tie you up to my bed after that,” he grumbles, and I roll my eyes at him.
“You’re wasting time,” I tell him. “It could be serious.” He lets out a groan before walking over to me and placing a kiss on my forehead, before rushing out of the room.
I stay there for a while longer before getting up and heading back up to my room. I need to pee and I also want to take a shower. Once that’s done and I’m alone, I feel the memories creeping up on me again, and I try to push them aside.
Knowing that won’t work, at least not without some help, I feel the sudden urge to get high. But I just want a little this time. I don’t want to go too overboard before the asshole actually does what he promised. You just never know with him.
All I need is something to take the edge off what I’m feeling. I head to Knox’s room because he has to have weed in there, right? I mean, I’ve seen him and his friends smoking a million times so I know there should be some in his room.
Without thinking, I make my way into his room and start searching. It barely occurs to me that I really have hit rock bottom if I have to search someone else’s room for weed just to get high, but we’re not talking about that.
I search his desk drawer first, then his closet—hey some people hide shit there—and his bathroom, but come up empty. My eyes land on his nightstand and I make my way over there.
Ah-ha! There has to be some in here. I open the drawer and come up empty again. Ugh! What kind of weed smoker doesn’t have weed? I can’t say the same for me because I’d be stocked if the asshole wasn’t currently throwing my shit away.
I’m just about to close the drawer and go back to my room and lie there, possibly behave for once, when I catch sight of an envelope with Knox’s name on it. The handwriting is neat and definitely feminine.
Curiosity gets the better of me and I take it out and open it before reading the contents. I mean, if you didn’t want anyone reading your shit, you should’ve hidden it right? By the time I finish reading it, I wish I hadn’t. Like they always say, curiosity killed the cat… And my life is once again in an upheaval.
My dearest darling boy,
I just want you to know how much I love you and how proud of you I am for all that you’ve accomplished.
You were always the light in my darkest of times.
I’m sorry.
I’m so fucking sorry that I couldn’t fight the darkness anymore.
Your father is a master of lies and deception. What I thought would be a happy and loving marriage turned out to be anything but. You were the only good thing to come of it.
I tried so hard to just forget it all but, in the end, I wasn’t strong enough to deal with what my life has turned into. I’m afraid this is where it ends for me. I’m tired of fighting and begging for the love and happiness I deserve when it’s as clear as day I’ll never get to have that.
I’m so sorry for all the pain that my actions will cause you but I had to do this.
I’m not strong enough to continue living like this anymore.
I’ve written down an email and password to a drive where you will find everything that you need. Hopefully it will help you to understand better.
Email: [email protected]
Password: ashtriedbutfailed
