Page 64 of Love Like Mine


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I help her up and then lift her into my arms and begin walking inside, both of us still naked. I take her up to her room where we both get cleaned up and then we both climb into her bed where sleep finds us not long after.

Twenty-Two

RAINE

I wakeup feeling raw and drained more than ever. I don’t know what the hell was happening with me yesterday and last night, but I just needed to let some of those built-up emotions out of me.

Oh right, now I remember. I’m fucking stuck here because I didn’t get into any of the colleges I applied to. Having that unexpected news and then seeing Trent and Ivy around just made me lose my shit. Now, here we are, with me feeling unstable as hell when it comes to my emotions.

I’m tired of the back-and-forth between Knox and me. I wish that I could either forgive him and move on or just leave and forget about him, but I can’t seem to do either of those things.I hate that I love the pain it causes me to see his face every day.

When I woke up last night, I had the overwhelming urge to play my violin. I haven’t done so since I moved to Riverside. It was always the one thing that brought me some semblance of peace when I was battling with depression.

Whenever I played, it transported me into my own world where there was nothing but the music cloaking me in its sereneness. Last night, it was both painful yet cathartic. I missed doing all the things I loved. Even though it soothed my soul a little, it also made me remember all the things I lost and all the things I haven’t done in a while. Life has just sucked for the last little while and that made the mess of emotions inside me get out of control again.

I didn’t even know I had an audience because I was so out of it. When it became too much for me, I dove into the pool and wanted to stay under the water until I drowned.

I was still contemplating what I was going to do and, of course, he had to ruin it by jumping into the pool after me. He was nowhere yet everywhere at the same time. I just wanted to end my fucking life without his interference. But every single time I tried to end it; there he was, bringing me back to an existence I didn’t want anymore.

I slowly and silently slip out from under him and leave the room so I can have some breathing space for a while. I start to make my way downstairs and head straight for the den.

There’s a little alcove in here that can be used for reading. It’s one of my favorite places in this house. It’s super comfy and big enough that you can lie on it. I go and lie on it and then cover myself up with the blanket as I watch the rain fall outside.

There’s something about watching the rain fall that makes me feel calm, if only for a little while. I don’t move from my spot and have no idea how long I’ve been lying there, staring out the window, but suddenly I feel someone next to me.

I look up to see Knox sitting on the edge. He lifts me and moves me so that I’m straddling his lap, with the blanket still wrapped around me.

“Why are you out of bed this early?” he asks as he absentmindedly rubs my back.

“It’s not early. It’s ten a.m.,” I say, looking over at the clock.

“You need the rest. You had a rough night. Why didn’t you wake me up?” he questions.

“I just want to be by myself today,” I say, hoping he’ll leave me alone.

“Sure,” he says way too easily, and I eye him with suspicion.

I don’t get a chance to answer or ask any questions because one of the house staff comes in with our breakfast. I try to get off him because I really don’t feel like eating right now, but he grabs me by the jaw and turns my face so that I’m looking at him.

“Uh-uh, you’re eating and you’re not going to bitch about it either,” he says, like his words are the law.

“But I’m not hungry. I’ve had an upset stomach since yesterday,” I huff out. Which is not a lie. I’ve been feeling off for a while. I don’t know which one of my bad habits is trying to kill me right now.

“Then you shouldn’t have been drinking yesterday,” he says in a sarcastic tone. “Eating will help you get your strength back, so no more arguing. This eating disorder shit is getting way out of hand.” I let out a sigh, knowing that I can’t say a word to change his mind when he’s in his bossy mood.

When we both finish this dumb routine of him making me eat, he places a kiss on my forehead before helping me lie back down and covering me again with the blanket. Then he moves away from me and goes and sits on the couch, grabbing his gaming controller.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me!” I grumble, but he hears me.

“What?” he asks with what is supposed to be an innocent smile on his face, but the jerk knows exactly what he’s doing.

“I told you I wanted to be alone!” I snap.

“But you are alone. You’re alone over there and I’m alone over here,” he says with a shrug.

“That’s not what I meant!” I huff out. He really does grate on my nerves sometimes. Okay, most times.

“Well, I’m not leaving you alone right now. Not after what happened yesterday,” he says with a sort of finality in his voice.

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