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Within an hour, we’ve all had a few shots and are well on our way to drunk… well, I know I am. It’s exactly what I needed. I grab the pills from Wolf and pop one into my mouth. I look at the time and see that it’s eleven p.m. already, which means that I need to go now if I want to leave before Knox gets back.
Ransom insists that he’ll drive me to the airport and he looks sober enough, so I guess we’re not all drunk. But anyway, I agree to let him drive me. We all pile into their SUV and when we get to the airport, I turn to them before getting out of the vehicle.
“Thank you for tonight,” I say honestly. They’ve been a big help in getting me to forget, even if it was only for a little while.
“No worries,” Cyrus says.
“I have one more favor to ask,” I say, trying not to slur my words. It’s a good thing it’s a private plane. I needed the alcohol and the high from the pills so I wouldn’t feel hollow anymore. Or rather I didn’t want to feel anything. I just want to be numb from it all.
“Anything,” Wolf tells me.
“Can you guys take my car and crash it right where you found me? I need you to make it look like I had an accident. That’s what I’ll be using as a cover to explain the bruises since Knox will be all up my fucking ass with questions like he cares. And no one is telling him anything! I’ll tell him when I’m ready or maybe I never will. Who knows at this point? But that’s for me to decide,” I say, giving them all a serious expression.
“Done and we’ll stay out of it since that’s the vibe I’m getting here,” Ransom says.
“Pretty and smart,” I joke.
“You know it babe!” he says with a wink.
“Give me your word,” I say and then look at all of them again, so they know I’m serious.
“You have it. We won’t meddle,” Ransom says. The rest of them shake their heads in agreement as well. Just before I exit the SUV, Camryn pulls me in for a hug.
“I’ll see you when you get back and then we can do anything you want to,” she whispers to me, and I pull back giving her a smile.
“I’d like that. See you when I get back,” I tell her.
“Oh, here, before you go,” she tells me as she hands me a duffle bag. I open it and see there are some clothes and a wallet on top. When I open the wallet, there’s money in there.
“What’s this for?” I question since there looks to be a couple hundred dollars.
“To use while you’re gone. I know you don’t have your phone or wallet and you need money,” she tells me.
“I can’t—” I start but she cuts me off.
“Of course, you can. That’s what friends are for,” she tells me.
“Thank you, guys!” I say with tears in my eyes. I wipe them away. I wave bye to them as I walk up the stairs and onto the plane. I take a seat and a moment later, it’s taking off. I’m glad Knox wasn’t here to stop me or anything like that. I take out the hoodie that was in the bag and put it on before setting my seat back to rest a little on the flight.
Three and a half hours later, we land in New York. It’s early in the morning but the place is still busy. As they say, it’s the city that never sleeps.
It’s too early to go over to Bailee’s especially if I don’t want her parents seeing me like this. I tell the driver that the guys had waiting for me at the airport to drop me off at the diner that’s not far from where she lives, with the intention of spending time there. She’ll probably kill me when she sees me because I’ve been avoiding her for a while.
With everything going on in my life, I’ve hardly had any time to talk to my best friend. She’ll definitely want to kick my ass and tell me that’s no excuse.
When I get to the diner, it’s open and I grab a seat at a booth and order a hot chocolate. I love hot chocolate and that’s probably the only thing I can stomach right now. The smell of the various foods being cooked is too much but I concentrate hard and will myself not to throw up.
I hate being sick at the smell of food. I hate what I’ve turned myself into, but most of all, I just fucking hate this life that I’ve been dealt. If I was a stronger person, maybe I’d have killed myself already but I’m not. I’m still here. I’m too scared to do it myself.
Maybe that’s why I take all the drugs that I do. Maybe I’m hoping it’ll just do the job for me and put me out of my misery. I don’t miss the stares that people cast my way as I sit in the diner until seven thirty a.m. I know that’s when Bailee’s parents leave for work.
I tip the waitress before heading out and make the short walk to Bailee’s house. It’s a pleasant morning, but I can’t find it in me to appreciate the beauty of it. All the while I was sitting in the diner and waiting, all thoughts of my life from the time I left New York to move to Riverside ran through my mind.
I’ve never dealt with so much heartache and pain in my life before moving there. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I hate that place. I can’t wait to go to college and leave it all behind.
I ring the bell when I get to Bailee’s door. A few seconds later, she opens the door. When she spots me, her mouth opens wide with surprise.
“What the fuck happened to your face?!” she screeches.
